Page 99 of Faking the Shot

“I love you too, darling girl. Come and visit me when you get the chance.”

“As soon as I can,” she promised. Maybe she could call in sick tomorrow. Heartsick, she’d call it.

Her aunt laughed softly. “Now, don’t be thinking of ways to get out of work to come see me.”

“How did you know?”

“Because I know you. I know you have a good heart.”

Those last words plucked her heartstrings. Zac had said something similar.

The call soon ended, and she let the tears spill as she slumped onto the carpet, thankful nobody except Louie could see her. Her aunt was dying. Dying! Yet so calm and brave.

She was neither calm nor brave. And with the anger she felt toward God right now, nor was she possessed of a good heart, despite what others may say.

Her aunt’s approaching death felt like the weightiest weight of all her burdens, slamming down on her heart so all the poisonous frustrations and pain leaked out. Oh, she was a mess. Little girls might think she was sweet and pretty, but she knew that was a mask. She wasn’t good. Wasn’t doing good, either.

Baden’s voice whispered as if from the grave: “You’re not as good as they say, Ainsley. You proved that tonight, didn’t you?”

His words might pertain to actions she knew were forgiven, but they had stayed there nonetheless, close to her heart where nobody could see. She might paste on a smile, and force herself to own a confidence she didn’t feel, but his words lay like a tumor, silently spreading, breaking off to attach somewhere else, always weaving, twisting through conversations, making her second-guess everything.

What to wear. What to eat. What to do. Even if God had truly forgiven her.

Baden had stolen her innocence—well, she’d given it away—but he’d made her think he cared and that she was special, so she’d given it up, only to prove the next morning that he’d been more about getting a notch in his bedpost rather than anything real.

She’d been so stupid, so naive, so desperate to believe someone like him might like someone like her.

And now he was back in town after all these years. What if he and Zac met? If he told him what she’d done? Zac would never look at her the same way again.

All of her goodness, her sweet persona, would be revealed as the desperate efforts of a broken lonely woman, someone who pushed others away to protect herself from hurt. The counselor she’d seen at Rosie’s instigation had made it plain. But knowing what was wrong with her was not the same as knowing how to change. To stop the hiss of lies. To learn to trust—really trust—again.

She needed to see Zac soon, to get another photo—Aunty Win’s call had made that plain. But she couldn’t keep using him. Not when it was obvious that she wasn’t the woman that he—or anyone else—believed her to be.

* * *

Zac glanced at Ainsley,while Chris and Diana’s visitors chatted. He’d hoped to bring her here himself, but she’d insisted on attending with Cassie and Harrison and showing them the way. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was yet another way she’d chosen to keep him at arm’s length. Another week had passed, which made it now far too long since their magical kiss. She’d at least replied to his request to catch up to say she’d needed to visit her aunt who was sick. He could appreciate that, but this relationship was feeling very one-sided, with pretty much no relating.

Vancouver’s game against Calgary had put the visitors in a celebratory mood. Calgary were playing Seattle tomorrow night, so had a morning flight, which had allowed for some time tonight to catch up at Chris and Diana’s. Their kids had stolen out of bed, which mightn’t have been ideal, but it was the only way to make sure that Diana could be a part of things.

They greeted him with an “Uncle Zac!” and Ainsley with an “Aunty Ainsley!” which softened her expression.

“It’s so good to see you again.” Diana hugged and welcomed people, as the chatter began about tonight’s game.

Along with Franklin and Hannah, his sports reporter wife, were Mike and Bree Vaughan, and Tom Chavez, the Calgary teammate who’d attended their last online Bible study group. Franklin’s sister Cassie and her boyfriend Harrison Woods, the one who played Ainsley’s love interest inAs The Heart Draws, had come too. But all the extra faces meant nearly nothing as he was focused on the woman he’d missed so much.

“Hey you.”

Ainsley smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You played well tonight.”

“We should’ve won, but stuff happens.” Nik, their backup goalie, had proved why he was that. At one point, Zac had even heard murmurs that they should put Chris in. But Chris needed the occasional night off, especially in the lead up to the playoffs, and Nik needed more game experience. Plus, they’d thought they’d win against Calgary. Clearly, Chris was the difference maker.

He drew Ainsley to one side, as the others continued their conversations. “So, are you doing okay? I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she admitted.

His heart eased. Good. “We should go on another date soon. Get the chance to talk.”

“That’d be good.”

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