Page 65 of The Secrets of Roan Island

“And where should I go?” I ask with an ill-humored scoff. “The only thing I have is my position at the college. Why do you think I’ve been fighting so hard to keep it? What do I do without that? What is left for a woman who isn’t married and has no family? There’s nowhere to go.”

“I’ll give you what you need.”

“I don’t want your handouts.” I almost tell him what I really want, what’s on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I cup his face, forcing him to look at me, and repeat myself for the hundredth time. “Get it through your head. I’m. Not. Leaving.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to save the women.” I let my thumb slide along his cheek. “And…” But I can’t continue the thought.

“And?” His fingers pluck at the fabric of my skirt near my hips, testing and cautious, dark eyes staring up at me in question. When I don’t draw away, he pulls me a little closer so I’m standing between his spread thighs. “Say it.”

He knows I haven’t given him the whole truth, but I can’t.

“If I can help save the women, keep any more from dying, this can stop. Right? He’ll leave me alone.”

Noah’s hold on me tightens. “No, Ruby. Even if you magically figure out how, it won’t stop him. He’ll come for you. He wants more than I realized.”

His words hang heavy between us. My stomach rolls at what he’s implying, and I shake my head.

“I won’t let that happen,” Noah says.

He and I both know he’s making a promise he can’t keep. He can’t stand against his father. If Hammish wants something—wants me—Noah won’t be able to stop it, not with the way Hammish can control his family.

I sit down on Noah’s thigh and wrap him in a tight hug, unsure which of us I’m trying to comfort. His arms press around my back, and his head drops to my shoulder.

The clock ticks in beat with my heart. I still can’t reconcile the man holding me now with the man who killed those women. I don’t know if what I feel for Noah can survive everything that’s happened, but I know I don’t want this wall between us anymore.

“A little more time,” I say quietly instead of what I’ve suddenly realized is resting on my heart. I brush my fingers through his hair, landing at the nape of his neck. His nostrils flare, eyes darkening, but he doesn’t move. He’s so still I’m not sure he’s even breathing, like he’s worried a single breath will blow me away.

It might.

What I’m thinking, wanting, is reckless. Dangerous.

But I want it anyway.

Despite everything, I want Noah Roan. A man who makes my blood pound. A man who’s stuck in a horrible situation and trying desperately to fix it. He’s jealous and protective, unpredictable and violent, but he’s also intelligent, conscientious, and caring—even if he tries to hide that part of himself. He cares about the women he’s hurt. Remembers each of their names.

And he cares about me.

With my hand at the back of his neck, I hold him in place as I line my face up with his. “Just for tonight.”

With everything hanging over our heads and the uncertainty of tomorrow, I need him tonight. Need the comfort and distraction. For one night, I want to pretend the past few days never happened, ignore the danger and the consequences.

The hope in Noah’s eyes is too much to meet, so I close my eyes and kiss him.

32

Noah

This is unlike any of the kisses we’ve shared before. Fragile, like a butterfly’s wings. More beautiful and heartrending than a shooting star cutting through a dark night. The soft touch of her lips remakes me. I never thought I’d get to experience this again. Ruby, so close, in my arms, our mouths pressed together in a connection that reaches down into my soul and hooks my hearts to hers.

At first, I’m too surprised to move.

But then her tongue darts out and flicks the seam of my lips. My whole body buzzes, weightless for a moment, before going taut. I open for her and she opens wider for me, tongues tangling as if we hope to tie ourselves in a knot that can never be undone. Oh, how I wish I could fuse her to me, put myself between her and every harm. For now, the best I can do is give her tonight, give her all the pleasure I can.

It’s too close to Solstice to use my venom, so I keep my fangs carefully retracted. I don’t need venom to make her feel good. And I have every intention of making her feel very, very good.

She lifts off my lap, standing in front of me as she slowly undoes the buttons down the front of her frock. My claws itch to tear the dress from her more quickly, but I don’t want to rush this. Not tonight.

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