Page 11 of Scars and Burns

“Little light, you have more power than you realize. You are my daughter. A rare star whose light cannot be matched. Do not shy away from the power that lies within you.”

I looked up at her then. Recognizing these words. They are so similar to the ones she first said to me when she told me of my magic. She has to know something I don’t. My magic is not like hers. Nothing special. I will never possess the same level of power as my Mother. But she has put so much time into training me. Always so patient and kind. That part of her hasn’t changed since we’ve been in Akino. I owe it to her to try.

With my best smile I say, “Let’s do it”

9

Dinalia

Magic class today was a let down. Forget not burning anything my flames touch. I couldn’t even make a strand of fire more than a few feet long, if that. Let alone a whip or rope to restrain someone.

“It will take time”, my Mother says at the end of our lesson. My hope completely depleted and I’m kneeling on the ground on the verge of tears.

With all the strength I can muster I say, “I know. It just sucks. I see you. Watch you make this amazing garden. Witness you create life itself and yet…” my voice trails off

Not thinking I can get much lower. I lay down on the ground. A soft breeze brushes over me. As my Mother lays beside me. Interlocking her fingers over her stomach. Looking straight to the sky as she says to me, “Little light you give me too much credit. I did not create life. I simply harnessed the life that was already here. This garden is an extension of the forest. I merely helped it flourish elsewhere. Sustaining its life and the magic already within it to create this garden.”

Still sensing my doubt she continues, “My little light, have you everheard the phrase ‘Blood for blood’?”

I turn my head to look at her, “No, what does it mean?”

Still looking up at the sky and she says, “It means the magic the Goddess blesses us with is tied to blood loss.”

I swallow as she continues, “Your magic rose to the surface after you killed. Do you feel ashamed of that kill?” Turning her head to look at me.

I stare at her and swallow again. Averting my eyes down. Knowing I can’t lie to her.

“ No”, I say flatly. “But it’s not what you think” I continue, sitting up. She follows, looking down at my hands that are fidgeting in my lap.

“I know taking his life was wrong. And I feel ashamed that it was cut short most likely before the Goddess intended. But I don’t feel guilty for killing him. He was a bad man. He ransacked our home. He beat you. He would have killed you. And I… I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t witness that. I couldn’t lose you. One life for another doesn’t make it right. I know that, but… I’m glad he’s dead.” Not wanting to tell her all of it I leave it at that. Hoping the conversation is about to be over.

“And how did you feel after?”

Of course it’s not over. Of course she wants all of it.

I sigh, “I felt strong. Powerful. I felt… arelease”

Oh goddess it’s out there.

The truth. The lack of remorse I feel for slaughtering that man. The reality of how good it felt to take his life. To hold it in my hands. See the fear on his face and shock as I stabbed his own sword through his heart. And the release I felt as I watched the light leave his eyes.

We sit there in silence. Knowing I am going to have to be the one to break it. I glance up at her. She’s leaning back with her hands behind her. Looking up towards the sky with a smile on her face. “Are youupset?”, I ask her.

A small little huff later. She says, “No, my little light I am not upset. This is exactly how I thought you have been feeling. Your magic came to life because you took a life. You brought him release. So your magic was unleashed.”

“Is that bad?”

“Hhmmmm, not bad, but your magic is life within you. Do not be so focused on perfection. That you lose sight of the true light inside of you. Your magic knows no limits. Only the ones you give yourself.”

“Mom?”

“Mmhhhmmm?”

“Can I tell you something else about that night?”

“Of course.”

I close my eyes and let out a breath. “That night. When I saw his soul leave his body, I went cold. As if all the warmth from my body was taken with him. You say light is life. And I am supposed to have this flame inside of me but… I… my flames are cold. You said before that my soul was incomplete. But what if… what if my soul is broken? Because it feels like it’s gone.” My voice hitches in my throat. Tears swelling in my eyes.

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