Page 34 of Sin of the Saints

“And you, Lilith? You’ve become a hypocrite, just likeHim.”

“Hehas nothing to do with it, it’s my choice, do you hear? Mine! I left you. I was a fool to think you wouldn’t seek revenge! You’ve taken Bar from me! You’ve taken the one I gave my heart to!” She starts beating my exposed chest again and again.

“You gave it to me, Lilith, and you know it.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Do I look like someone who’s here to play around?”

She lets out a derisive snort. “After what you just did? From where I’m standing it certainly looks like a fucking amusement park full of crazy murderers. So why shouldn’t you look that way?”

I grip her shoulders and shake her so she looks into my eyes. She doesn’t seem too thrilled by the display of anger she invokes in me.

“Lilith tried to protect me from you, you know. And like a fool, I didn’t understand. I was blinded by the glow of the guardian angel I thought was mine. How dare you say he’s you?”

“I never told you how I ended up banished, just like you. I want to tell you. But damn it, you have to stop and listen to me.”

“The word of an evil sinner is worthless,” she growls, raising her chin at me defiantly.Okay, message received, Lilith, you’re not intimidated by me.How do we find ourselves fighting each other again and again? “And my name is Belle, damn it!”

“You may insist on separating yourself from her, but you are Lilith. You’re just afraid to confront the truth. With me.”

“So you’re saying Bar’s in there?” She sticks her finger in my chest and I’m alarmed as her long talon pierces my skin.

“Yes, Lilith, I’m here.” I look into her white eyes and she withdraws in shock. “I am the fallen angel. The one who fell bereft of God’s scripture. The one who coveted His greatest creation. From the day He created you, I yearned for you, you stirred in me the most horrible sin of all in His eyes – lust.”

“Lilith is the source of all that fighting?”

I chuckle. “You are also the flames that continue to incite it. Even after He banished you,Hestill had a soft spot for you. Despite all the rage you turned upon Him, despite all the deaths you caused,Hestill truly loves you, Lilith.”

“That can’t be…”

“ButHewon’t have you, I won’t let that happen.Hethinks that just becauseHegave you His gifts, His powers, thatHecan atone for whatHedid. Damn it, Lilith,Heerased you fromHisscripture! I gave you the Book of the Hebrews so you’d see for yourself, when you were just a student in my class!”

She wraps her arms around herself in silence, her forehead wrinkled. I want to touch her, I can’t not. I reach a hand out to her but she turns her back to me, with the wings she stole fromme. They’ve turned black, dark as her lost soul the day she lost her mind.

“I-I…” she starts to speak, but immediately changes her mind.

“Talk to me, Lilith. I meant what I said. I asked you to trust me, to know that you are always safe with me. It was me. Always. Then and now.”

She turns to me, raises her head and turns her maddening eyes upon me.

“I don’t know you,” she whispers, but then she clears her throat and in a steady voice she says: “For the millionth time, you piece of shit: my name is Belle Fermi.”

Chapter Nineteen

Hillel

“Idon’t know you.” Her words echo in my mind, clouding my eyes once again.

My feelings are fire and fury. I throw a punch, missing Lilith’s face by mere millimeters and shattering the wooden wall behind her. Her mouth hangs open in shock as she gasps.

She looks at me as if I’m a stranger, an enemy, and I can’t bear it.It’s that damned girl.

I feel my skin burning, and I know I have to get out of here before I do something I’ll regret. I actually thought she couldn’t hurt me more than she already has, more fool me.

Why do I keep coming back for another dose of destruction from her?

Because you love her, idiot,the voice in my head reminds me.

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