Page 28 of Sin of the Saints

I want to respond to him, I want everything he’s offering, but fear crawls into me and I realize it might not be enough.

I want him, but Lilith wants more.

Chapter Sixteen

Bartimaeus

“No!” Belle shouts, going wild in an attempt to push me away from her.

And it hurts, it hurts like hell. Her rejection is like a dagger driven into my already-lost heart by her own hand. Her return to me resurrected my dead body, and it killed me again.

I breathe heavily, struggling to get air into my lungs. The fog in my eyes intensifies, and I feel I’m about to plummet into the darkness.

“Y-you don’t want me?” My voice breaks and I curse the weakness I display before her. But I can’t fight it, her grip on my heart may bring about my end.

“It’s her influence.” I see the aura dancing around her head. “The whole time I was being held captive in the castle dungeon, the only thing I feared was that I’d sent you to the Creator, that I’d lost you. And as time passed, the chances that it was true increased. And now? All I can think is that you’re under herspell.She’sinfluencing you, blinding you just like Libretto did with his own hands. Because of her!”

“No, Belle, it’s you! Lilith is just one part of you. You’re still the same girl, the survivor, the rebel. But now you’re also a fierce warrior. You’re fire and flame, and the air I need to feel more alive than I’ve ever been, even in my human life.”

“Then prove it to me,” she demands.

Why doesn’t she trust me? Her new side brings with it a lethal wall. I’ll prove it to her by destroying it, collapsing the fucking doubts Lilith has sprinkled into her consciousness.

“Tell me how.” I straighten my back and my muscles swell with the determination stirring in my body. If she wants me to fight for her, I’ll do so without a second thought.

She raises her eyes to me, and in my blindness I see her eyes gleaming white. Her gaze is sharp and piercing. “All I want is to stop drowning.”

With those words she leaves the cabin, and I’m left wondering what the hell she means. Because I intend to give her everything her heart desires.

“This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him1.”

“Have you heard the stories making the rounds aboutHishumans?” Lilith stands before the furnace in the place that has become their home, watching the flames respond to the motions of her hands. “They haven’t even bothered to mention us, like our names frighten them.Hehimself is afraid to admit who was really behind all the sins of his beloved humans.”

“Don’t let it get to you, beloved.Heknows we’re here. We, and our descendants.” Hillel flaps his wings and stokes the fire, which heat up the more Lilith continues to feed them with her glare alone.

“I won’t letHimcontinue to ignore my existence.” Lilith grinds her teeth, lifts her hand and the flames wrap around her. “HethinksHecan just erase me like I never existed?”

“He’sturned my brethren into an army of defenders. Not warriors, defenders,” Hillel chuckles derisively. “If that’s the stanceHetakes, we must giveHisarmy a purpose, lest they grow bored.”

“Indeed. Since my invasion ofHisprecious EdenHehas created three angels whose entire purpose is to protectHimselffrom me.”

“We don’t know what their powers are, Lilith, you mustn’t provoke them,” Hillel cautions her. She turns her back to him to conceal her anger.Who does he think he is, giving her orders now?

“HeandHiswinged creatures don’t interest me.” She kicks stones into the fire, provoking it. Lately it seems to be her only companion. Even her descendants turn against her. And now her beloved has forgotten his place, thinking he can take something she has never offered. “I won’t letHimorHishumans push me out of their awareness. I am a force to be acknowledged, and I’ll incurHiswrath to the point whereHishumans will fear me. I’ll make them disavowHimjust asHedisavowed us.”

“What do you want to do?” Hillel sounds curious.

“They claimHeis omnipotent simply becauseHecreated the world? I’ll prove to them thatHecan destroy it as well. I’ll makeHimdestroy it.” A dark and sinister laugh awakens within her, bursting out uncontrollably.

“You’re playing with fire, beloved. Take heed, lest you be burned.” She doesn’t like the tone of his voice. It seems she no longer likes him either.

She strides into the inferno, the flames dancing around her, and Hillel’s eyes widen in outright awe.

“I’m counting on it,Beloved.” This is an excellent opportunity to remind him that she won’t allow him to disrespect her so again.

And thus Lilith corrupted the land, and the land was filled with evil-doing.

God fought the wicked, whose hearts had been corrupted by Lilith, and He brought forth a flood upon the earth and drowned it all. The waters were so great they nearly extinguished Lilith’s spark.

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