Page 29 of Sin of the Saints

Defeated, humiliated, she withdrew to the underworld.

HethinksHehassaved the righteous, but I’ll prove toHimthat the heart of man is evil from youth, even inHisrighteousness. I won’t rest until the lands of Adam are all aflame.

No matter the cost.

Chapter Seventeen

Bellcolor

Ihad to get out of that cabin. The walls were closing in on me, and I felt that Bar was surrounding me, even though he was offering everything I’d wished for.

I want Bar. Very much. I’ve wanted him from the first moment I saw him. But Lilith’s warnings continue to echo within me. Her memories overwhelmed me the moment she awakened, and yet I feel she’s hiding the most important thing from me. Her most secret longing, something she doesn’t want me to know. I feel her shame. She did something unforgivable and pushed it down into the deepest part of her, where even I have no access.

I stroll around the cabin. My powers are still dormant thanks to this shitty collar, so I don’t stray too far. I can’t be complacent, especially when I’m so upset and don’t know the area we’re in.

“He’s the Morningstar, right? The one Prof. Sapienti talked about?” I ask Lilith.

“Yes,”her voice rings out within me.

“But who is he?” I must know.

Silence.

I sigh in defeat. Lilith is me, but she still feels a need to protect me as though I were a totally separate entity.

“Is he aware of what he is?” I try my luck, trying to glean information from a different angle.

“No, the entity within him has not yet awakened.”

“But you know who he is.”

Silence again. I’m thinking I won’t receive an answer when she says:“I hope you won’t make the same mistake I did.”

“What do you mean?” I hurriedly ask, but she again closes herself off to me.

All my feelings for Bar well up within me. Am I capable of realizing my longing for him? Is it just longing, or does my selfish heart seek what I myself dare not? And what mistake am I meant to be avoiding?

I take a deep breath and my body quivers like a leaf in the wind.

“Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins1.”

Lilith adopted the fire. It seemed to her that the fire was the only one that understood her. So beautiful, so hypnotizing, with the power to give, but those who were not cautious could be burned. It was a tremendously powerful natural force, but at the same time could be destructive. The fire had become her wall against the other demons who had danced to her motions, who had worshipped her power, and now feared and resented her.

“I love you,” Hillel says behind her.

His declaration incites her wrath and the flames rage around her. “The love of God was in your heart as well, and it was wiped away in an instant.”

“For you.” He sounds angry.

“No, Hillel,for you.”

Hillel wants to approach her, but Lilith sends out a burst of flame that forces him to retreat.

“And your heart has never known what love is. Not for Him, not for your offspring!” His tone is fiery, but there’s validity in his accusations.

Lilith turns her gaze to him, and her eyes spark with flame and fury. “Heis unworthy of my love. AllHeincites in me is hatred!”

Hillel recoils as though she’s slapped him. “And I, am I unworthy of it? And the creatures we’ve created? The blood of our blood?”

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