Page 5 of Sin of the Saints

“We shall awaken Lilith today. Simon, you know what to do,” Libretto says in a bloodcurdling tone.

I shiver uncontrollably when I realize what he means.

Without the ability to move, to breathe, no voice and no ability to answer.

They want Lilith, not me.

The day it all started, I wanted to die. I can’t help thinking that I succeeded in my task. Who am I today? There’s nothing left of the girl I once knew. I wasn’t alive then, and I’m not alive now either. They’ve turned me into nothing more than a blur. A lifeless corpse sprawled on their horrendously expensive marble. Fuck them. Fuck them and all the damned demons. I’m ready to go to Hell. I deserve that.

Only Bar’s name floats through my thoughts, and my heart twinges. He brought me to life, stirred my still heart, my haunted soul. He awoke in me a desire to keep fighting to stay in the lands of Adam. And I committed the sin of Gluttony, not being able to stop myself as soon as I tasted his blood, until I brought him to his end.

Had he managed to survive after what I did to him? And what exactly was the curse Libretto had placed on him? My father hadsaid that Bar kept returning to the realm of Man for Lilith. But now I’ve lost all hope of salvation.

The snake curls around the tree above me, at the top of the hall, and it feels like his grip is tightening around my heart.

Lilith, what do you want?

“The Shining One.”I hear her voice as a low bass vibrating within me.

The Shining One… my lips move soundlessly and my gaze focuses on the ceiling painting. My father tenses next to me and hushes me, the snake continues to curl around the trunk of the Tree and I feel like I’m losing my mind.

“No, no!” I hear the desperation in the pleas that filter into the hall.

“It’s your calling, you cannot flee from it!” Libretto calls, followed by the sound of a slap tearing through the tension in the room.

“I’m at the top of the class in martial arts, I’ll be of great use to him! I’m valuable!” he continues to plead.

“Your only value is your blood, Sansenoy! You’re nothing more than food for us. That’s why you were brought to the lands of Adam. The sooner you accept that, the quicker this will end!”

“No, no, no! I apologize for my heresy against her. Please, forgive me!” It’s pointless. His pleas are as empty as the heart of the one sealing his fate. And the fates of all those present. Except me. I’ll forever refuse to grant him what he desires.

“This isn’t a damn church!” Libretto slaps him again, and my veins cramp as the sweet smell of blood reaches my nose.

“Take him, Belle. Take him and call to the Shining One.”Lilith’s voice again awakens within me, and my fangs elongate in immediate response.

“She’s waking up…” I hear whispers around me.

“Sansensansem…”The chant moves through the space, sliding through the still air in the hall. It encircles me, driving meto rise. I manage to flip onto my belly, reaching out to the source of the chant, drawing my body across the marble.

Pull, drag, pull, drag.

“No!” My eyes are fixed upon Evan’s terrified expression.

Pull, drag, pull, drag.

“Damn you! Damn you to Hell!” He spits on my face. I move my tongue over my lips, licking up his saliva and smiling.

Libretto holds him on one side, my father on the other. They push Evan down to his knees while he rages and tries to free himself of their grip. They’re making it easier for me to reach what my body desires most of all. With difficulty I rise up to my knees, unable to stabilize myself as I collapse onto Evan. His body tenses and I can feel the specific moment he accepts his fate. His muscles unclench, his shoulders slump, and his head drops onto my right shoulder just as mine lies on his.

“No,” I whisper to him, my voice hoarse and stinging my throat. “I’m her… the mother of all the damned ones.” I fix my fangs in the delicate skin of his neck and my body pulses with intoxicating pain as it regains its strength.

Strong and swift.

A tempest awakens around me, shoving Libretto and my father backwards. Thunder shakes the walls of the castle. Maybe all the accursed lands of Adam. A ceaseless flow pours down my throat. My skin tingles, my stomach turns, my eyes widen as they stare at the image of Lilith winding around the Tree on the ceiling.

Memories rise up within me, one after another, and my head spins with her pain, her longing, the hidden passions of her heart, her false loves, her breaking in the infinite cycle of death and rebirth, death and rebirth.

And hope.

---