Page 10 of Prayer of the Damned

“I wanted to surprise you before you left for Italy. You thought I’d hand you off to a new life without giving you the appropriate guidance?”

“Of course,” I say with a frown.

“That’s not what I mean, Bellcolor. And take those ridiculous contacts out of your eyes, you didn’t really think you’d be able to hide what’s happening here from your father, did you?”

I actually and honestly thought I’d succeed at that, but once again my father proves nothing is hidden from his eagle eyes. I let out a frustrated breath and remove the color contacts, then raise my gaze to him.

“Damn,” he says with amazement, and I’m more confused than ever.

“I can explain,” I hurry to say.Can I?

“It’d better be good, Bellcolor, because you have no idea what you’ve done!” he barks at me, and I turn to stone right where I sit. Suddenly I feel so small on this enormous couch. Why do we even need such a monstrosity when it’s just the two of us? My father’s never invited anyone here, and you can guess for yourselves that I haven’t either.

“There was an incident last night—”

“An incident!” he roars. I shrink into the couch like I’m trying to get away from him. “You mean this?” He whirls around, lifts the trash can from my room, by my desk, and hurls it into the air.

All my suicide notes scatter through the living room. Okay, that’s embarrassing. Seriously.

The furious look in his eyes tells me he’s disappointed. Oh God, first Mom left him and now me. I almost did the same thing to him.

“Ah…” I try to say something, but the words won’t leave my mouth.

“And you mean this?” He picks up my empty pill bottle. Fuck, why couldn’t I die? I’d do anything to die right now. “You really want to die?” Did he just read my mind? Great, Bell, you’re a real idiot. The scattered evidence of your plan is pretty conclusive.

My father seems to smile for a moment, but if that happened, he hides it very quickly.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” I lower my head in submission. My father resumes pacing across the room angrily, and I catch it, my leg starting to bounce with disquiet. “Are you going to punish me?” I break the irritating silence.

“Even if I wanted to, I have no idea how,” he admits, and stops in place.

He has a point. I’m not a typical teenager. There’s nothing he could take from me that would actually be a punishment, and grounding me is hardly punishment either because I’ve never been anywhere except the mandatory affairs in the schedule he built for me.

He shakes his head as if wishing to empty his mind, walks towards me and finally sits down next to me on the enormous couch.

“Tonight was planned down to the smallest detail, it was supposed to go so differently.” I notice his effort to remain calm.

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I have nothing else to tell him.

“You have no idea how sorry you should be, Bellcolor. This jeopardizes all the plans regarding sending you to Italy, given what’s happened.”

I immediately raise my head. Of course it endangers them, he’s afraid I’ll do a similar stunt when I’m far from him.

“Oh, no, Dad!” I plead. “Without meaning to, Betty had slipped a bit of wisdom into my head. She’d said it was my chance for a fresh start, a new life, and I truly believe I can use it!I promise I won’t try to do it again. I’ve learned my lesson! It was so horrible I have no desire to repeat it!” I grab the sleeve of his suit, rocking his arm forcefully and begging for him not to take my possible future away.

“You don’t understand, Bellcolor, it really was supposed to be your new life!” He shakes my hand off and I want to weep. I really, truly want to cry, but the stupid tears won’t leave my eyes. A daughter’s tears are meant to break a father’s spirit, aren’t they? So why the hell can’t I cry?

“Chances are it would’ve worked, but you can’t,” my father says, and I turn to stone at once. Did I ask that out loud? “No, Bellcolor, I can hear you,” he sighs. My mouth hangs open, but nothing comes out.

Are you telling me you can hear my thoughts?I ask in my head without meaning to, because nothing can make its way out through my mouth.

“Yes, Bellcolor, I can hear your thoughts.” His eyes meet mine. My mouth’s still hanging open, and I think my jaw’s locked and will never return to its place.

How?I ask in my mind.

“Because you’re my daughter. We share a bond of blood,” he answers my thoughts aloud.Yes, my thoughts!“I think we’ve covered the fact that I can hear your thoughts. Stop shouting,” he reprimands me.

I was yelling?

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