Page 23 of A Promise For Tomorrow

“Trust me, Con never spied on you while he was there with Lex. That doesn't mean I didn’t soak up any scrap of informationhe would willingly share. But I never asked. It killed me not knowing how you were. Or if you were safe. Over time, and very slowly, I moved on from completely numb to feeling the sensations of life again. I enjoyed spending time with my nephew. Hell, I even enjoyed getting to know Diego better. We found ourselves hitting the bars and gym together. And in a weird, fucked up way, his presence reminded me of you. That constant reminder was like a fix. Then Lainey showed interest in me that night at the party and I caved. I wanted tofeelagain. She showed me I was still capable of it.”

The comforter wrinkles as I take a seat next to her on the edge of the bed. A sad smile spreads across her face while she studies me, her eyes lingering on the tattoos at my neck before dipping lower to my chest.

“I’m not upset with you, Liam. Lainey is a sweet girl. I had my moments of jealousy over her in the past only because I knew she liked you. But I knew you would never entertain her while we were together. Now that we aren’t, it doesn't bother me. You had every right to move on. When you told me on Valentine’s Day that she’s always shown interest in you, I knew that she wanted you. I mean,shit. You two grew up together. She probably knows everything about you.”

A small chuckle slips out.She’s not wrong.Lainey could definitely give you a spreadsheet of my whole life leading up to today. Doesn’t mean she knows my heart though. That’s really my fault for not opening up enough.

For being guarded.

See, that’s the thing about love. So many different forms. Lainey loves me. I do believe that. The thing is, she loves what sheknowsof me; what she’s experienced with me over the years. She doesn’t know the full extent of my heart.

My biggest fears.

My soul.

Whereas Madison, knows the depths of my soul. All thedarkness that encompasses it. Yet, miraculously, she still loves me.Least, I hope so.She may not know every single thing about me since birth, but she knows my soul. And that is more than enough.

It’s not that one love is more precious than the other. They are just very different.

With Lainey, this thing between us is simple. It’s carefree, uncomplicated, and natural.

With Madison, it’s deep, it’s enthralling.Reckless,even. Always twisting and turning and begging for more than we can give at times. Yet, we always find a way to burrow ourselves deeper than we had before. It’s something we had to work hard at every single day—even if it felt as easy as breathing. The love we shared was as complicated as all those systems working in tandem, reminding you to breathe. That constant tending to each system is what kept our love as strong as it was at the time.

Emotionally, mentally, physically.

“Lainey and I hooked up that night. That was the first time I had been with anyone since you.”

Madison worries her lower lip, prompting me to grip her chin and loosen her teeth from it with my thumb.

“I figured that. It would be hypocritical of me to feel differently, considering I had slept with Diego the night of my wedding. It’s not like I expected you to stay single and celibate.”

Her warm hand tugs my hand off her face and places it in her lap. She doesn’t release it though, which is a good sign. It means I get to explore this further. See where my head is at. I don’t want Lainey feeling second best. And again, she’s not. I just need something. A sign that this thing burned out between Madison and I. Or… perhaps she wants Diego. Hell, maybe she wants none of us at all.

“Don’t play with her heart, Liam. I left. I said goodbye. She’s lucky to have you. And she would make an amazing wife for the new leader of the Tri-State Syndicate. Congrats by the way.” Abeautiful smile spreads across her face. I’d give anything to keep it there.

“Thanks, baby. It was for the best for everyone involved. Kil wanted to spend more time with his family. He realized his mistakes last year and asked me to take over. Everyone was agreeable with the decision because we are the same age and Jack trained us equally. I didn’t even need to go to Ireland.”

“Kil always wanted that family life. I’m happy for him.”

Her smile broadens at the mention of a family life. I know how desperately she desires a family of her own. It kills me that we were headed that direction before everything took a massive shit.

“If we were still together, you’d have been back in the spotlight again…the way it was with Killian.”

Mad tosses her hand out, waving it to the side. “Yeah, what a headache that was. I’m sure Lainey is more equipped to deal with that, being she grew up around it.” Her eyes have settled on my raven tattoo. That reminds me…

I tuck her purple hair behind her ear and caress the space where the delicate butterfly is inked into her skin.

“Nice tat.” I raise an eyebrow.

“It was a reminder of my decisions in this life and where it led me. To freedom, to change, to strength, and finding myself through a rebirth of sorts.”

I run my thumb along her bubblegum tinted cheek. “It doesn’t remind you of a certain someone with a matching tattoo?” Bastard had gone all out getting that chest piece of his. The artwork is incredible, but I knew who it was for. Was forced to see the damn thing every day at the gym.

“I mean of course it reminds me of Diego. He’s the one who calls meMariposita. In a way, what happened with Diego in Greece, it pushed me to become stronger. I grew a spine. It encouraged me to chase the dreams I’ve always wanted and not the ones my family set out for me.”

“You didn’t want to become a nurse?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve enjoyed helping people. Becoming a nurse wasn’t something I was ever against. I just…I don't know. I also enjoyed having a choice. It was more of a set plan my parents laid out for me rather than a personal choice.”

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