“Hey, Lexi. Congrats, again! Can’t wait for the wedding. I’ve never seen Conor so happy.”

“Thanks, girly,” Lex says smiling at her. Her eyes shift to mine before Lainey turns to me.

“Madison, would you mind talking with me?”

“Yeah, sure,” I murmur hesitantly. I nod my head to the giant bean bag chairs around the bonfire. “Let’s sit,” I suggest.

We walk through the lunatics—as in my favorite men of the Tri-State Syndicate—now dancing and hugging each other in typical drunk male fashion. When we make it to the chairs, I plop down on one and she does the same. Lainey shifts so that she faces me and I awkwardly do the same.Get it together,Madison. You have nothing to feel awkward about. It’s not like you are fucking Liam.

“I wanted to thank you,” she starts. “Liam told me that you both held off in reuniting…sexually…and it could have gone in a completely different direction. I wouldn’t have been angry with you if it had, but it showed me that you and him really do respect Diego and I.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course. I mean we came close…but it just didn’t feel right anymore.” I spin my engagement ring around my finger, anxiously giving myself something to do with my hands.

She notices, eyes like a hawk. A genuine smile crosses her features. “Does this mean you are back to being Mrs. De La Cruz?” She nods her head towards my ring.

I look down at my ring for a moment before looking back up at her. “It does. Liam and I always thought we were going to do this one day. But he and I never realized how toxic we were. How we only fed each other’s fears...or how we brought out the worst sides of each other… It wasn’t always the best. Certainly not sunshine and rainbows. He’s an incredible man, Lainey. Since you’ve been dating him, I’ve seen him calm down with his temper. He’s smoking less, drinking less. You are so good for him. I hope you know that I am no longer trying to be in the race. I accepted Diego’s proposal again because we help each other grow. I need that kind of partner. I truly wish you guys the best.”

“I can see that you and Diego have that connection the way Liam and I do. And I trust that we are going to keep the lanes parallel and not let them intersect. But I am not stupid. Liam may have chosen me, and I can tell he is serious in his words and his actions…but there is always the past that will haunt him. It’s moments like today that I worry he shows his cards too much. About how you still hold on to a piece of him—even if you don’t mean to.”

I shrug, not knowing how to respond. “I can’t help that. Idon’t think anyone can. Life is fucking messy, Lainey. Breaking up is like trying to mix iced tea powder into a glass of water. At first it all settles to the bottom, sitting there and heavy. It takes time mixing it for the majority to dissolve. And that’s what this is. Dissolving our past relationship. I can’t control anymore than he can the few granules that will always sit there at the bottom and never go away. That’s just life.”

“Damn. Using a drink analogy to explain to a chef that her man will always have lingering feelings for his ex.” She giggles and places her hand over mine, giving it a sympathetic squeeze.

Looks like we are in the clear.

“I get it. You both had an incredibly chaotic past. I also think had Diego never come into your life, you would still be with him. However, I do have one request, to ease my worries. If Liam gets all sentimental and even flirty with you, can you tell him to stop?”

“Uhh…Yeah? I mean he shouldn’t be doing that. If he does, I think you need to evaluate where you stand.”

“I want him so bad, Madison. It sounds pathetic. Since I was a kid, I have always had a crush on him. He never noticed. Not until a few months ago. I don’t want to lose him. We really are good for each other. I just fear my love for him will never be enough.”

My lips purse as I contemplate my words. “Would you like me to talk to him? I won’t say you said anything,” I offer politely.

“Could you? I don’t want to have to break things off with him. I was willing to wait while he figured out his feelings for you. It’s already been a few weeks and he still has moments where he is cranky for no reason. Or he just got off the phone planning things with you and he’s got a smile on his face that wasn’t there before you called. I guess I sound like a jealous, paranoid girlfriend. I just don’t want to always be dealing with your ghost. No offense.” She shoots me a fake smile that makes me uneasy.

“None taken,” I laugh, holding my hands up in surrender. “I’ll talk to him,” I stand, hinting that this conversation is over.

I can’t talk about this anymore.

Liam needs to stay in my past.

He’s not helping by making his current girlfriend insecure about where I stand in his life.

I watchMadison and Lainey head off towards the bonfire.Fuck. What could they possibly be talking about other than me? They sure as shit are not talking about nails and hair. I should intervene… but after seeing Madison go off with Diego to the cabana, and hearing her climb to ecstasy, I can’t bring myself to do it.

Jealousy is such a cunt.

I wish it wasn’t there. I wish I could forget about her. Move on with my fucking life like I said I would. I promised Madison I would try.And I am trying.It’s just not that fucking simple.

Lainey has been extremely patient with me, but I know it hurts her. She showed me her frustration every time Madison and I talked about the Jack and Jill. She’s been on edge since the moment we got here. Anytime I was around Madison, she would be extra clingy.

I know I need to cut Madison out of me. I’m just struggling to make the final slice.

My vision wanders over to Diego leaning against the bar. He’s chatting with his sister. Her smile is as big as the Empire State Building. One hand lingers at her womb, the other rubs up anddown her brother’s bicep. Tears are pooled in the rims of her eyes.

Curious as to what they are talking about, I saunter over there. When I reach them, Sel swipes the tears away with her index fingers. Diego spins around to greet me.

“You alright, Sel?” I ask, placing a hand on her shoulder.