The moment her confession rolls off her tongue, I realize how badly I had fucked us up last year. Where I saw doing whatever it took to protect her as something good, even heroic… she saw it as removing her choice. That was why she was so adamant about staying to help Diego. She wanted to help. We were so focused on saving her and doing what we felt was right, that we ended up completely ignoring her choice.Well, I did. Killian tried to show me that.
Fuck. What a damn fool I am.
“Christ.” I run the hand that caressed her cheek into my hair, tugging at the back.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel you lacked a choice with me. Especially in Greece.”
“It’s alright, Liam. I knew you weren’t doing it to be malicious. You did it to protect me. I see that now. I’m telling you this because it explains the tattoo. It explains why things turned out the way they did with Diego. And I’m sorry, too. For any moment I made you feel like our love wasn’t enough. Diego was just the thing I needed after everything I went through. He understood my desires more than I did at times. That feeling of releasing control—but willingly—waseverythingI needed to mature. To become a stronger version of myself. You and Killian coddling me all the time was sweet, and it made me feel secure, but it didn’t help me grow.”
I release a massive sigh. “I get it now, Mad. I just couldn’t bear it if something ever happened to you and it was because Killian and I brought you into this life.”
“I actually missed it,” she admits, giggling more to herself. “Imissed how strong and cherished I felt around you all. I felt like going to Arizona backtracked me in some ways where it supported me in others.” She leans in, her seductive jasmine and amber perfume awakens my senses and has all my blood flowing south.
“Can I tell you a secret?” she asks softly.
I lean in, mesmerized by her eyes and the long thick lashes that grace them.
“Mhm…”
“I’m terrified of scorpions,” she whispers.
I can’t help myself. I lean back and grip my stomach, letting out a hearty chuckle.
“Sweetheart, you have better knife skills than some assassins I’ve met. A scorpion should be afraid of you, not the other way around.”
“That’s my point. I went from feeling and acting my strongest to a complete wimp!” She hangs her head. “I want to come home,” she mumbles. The defeat that courses through her is something I need to change.Fuck, I hate seeing her like this.
I pull her into my chest, cradling the back of her head and rubbing gentle circles into her hair. “I’ve been staying at my place in Connecticut a few nights a week, to give some space to Killian and the family. You are welcome to stay there while you figure things out. As you’ve seen, I have a spacious guest room with an en suite. You could have your own space,andyou’ll be close to your family. They’ll only be a ferry ride away. Just knowing you’re there and knowing I can protect you will ease my worries. You know being involved with us carries a risk.”
“I do. I’m ready to come back. Not to mention, Con and Lex could use a little space of their own. No better time than now with the wedding coming up. She told me tonight they want to get married this spring. Things are going to move quickly and they’ll probably need our help…” She is chewing on her thumbnail, contemplating her options. “Can I let you know soon? I want to talk to Diego and Lexi before I commit to anything.”
“Of course, love.”
“I don’t want Lainey to feel pushed to the side. If—If—I decide to move in,temporarily, I want you to continue to date her. Just because I came back doesn’t mean you forget about the life you had before my return.”
“She already discussed with me tonight that we are not going to keep seeing each other. At least not until I figure out you and I.”
“That’s really big of her. Is that what she wanted to talk to me about earlier?”
“Not sure. Perhaps she wanted to try and lay her claim, but after our talk earlier tonight, she understood where my head is at.”
The light of Madison’s phone glows between us. She bends her head to look at it and releases a sigh.
3:45 AM.
We all have an early start. I’m sure she wants to see her father in the morning. Hope blooms in my chest at the thought of her coming back tomorrow. I’m sure Sel invited her to Kian’s first birthday. It will give me more time with her—assuming Diego doesn’t go off gallivanting with her.
“We should get some sleep. I want to be able to see my dad during visiting hours tomorrow before Kian’s birthday.”Ahh, she is coming.“Lexi also mentioned dinner to discuss the wedding. I believe you are invited as well.”
“That so?” I play with my beard while moving to stand. Madison hops off the bed and retrieves her heels from the floor.
“That’s what she said.” She shrugs, a smile creeping onto her face before it turns into the cutest yawn. “Excuse me. Sorry, that was rude.”
Her tired feet stumble to the door. She cracks it open but lingers, turning around to glance up at me. I hold the door open,giving my hands something to do so I can stop touching her like she’s still mine.
“It’s late, you’ve been running around all day. And that wasn’t rude, it was cute as fuck.” I wink.
As if my good intentions were going to fucking last long, I reach out and stroke my knuckles along her bicep. Satisfaction fills me seeing the goosebumps spring up in their wake.