Page 77 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

I’m hoping she misses me, too.

With Lexi focusing on her studies, her sister Mikayla studying abroad for her last semester, and Leah spending time with her new man, she seems to be feeling truly alone. All I want to do is take that pain from her. Of course, she has me around to keep her company, but it’s been challenging keeping the line drawn between friendship and something more.At least for me.

There is absolutely no hiding the fact that we’ve regained our trust and playfulness with each other. Sparring is our new form of flirting—some would call it therapy.Recently, she’s even shown interest in spending more time with me outside of training.

Hell, I’ll take whatever I can get.

I just don’t believe she’s ready to come back to me yet. At least, not right now. Not when all she talks about is Diego—and how he made her feelalive. Everytime she says it, I feel crushed even more. I was once the man who made her feel that way.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Madison promises just as Killian walks up to his wife and kisses her lips, ignoring our presence the way I do my best to ignore him. It’s not the easiest thing to do, considering our line of work. When I am here or in Connecticut at the club, I stick to talking about work. Any relationship outside of that, I am no longer interested in.

Not once did he try and apologize to Madison for his—our—role in all of this. I’ve just about apologized in every goddamn way possible to her. She told me she didn’t want to hear it anymore and that she believed me. Even going as far as to catch me off guard one morning and tackle me to the ground.

She pressed the blade of her knife to my neck and told me if she heard ‘I’m sorry’ one more time, she’d give me a new scar.It was sexy as hell. I knew her threat wasn’t fully loaded. The light in her eyes came back when she felt my pulse hammering against her hand.

Her throat bobbed as she said the words and only I could notice the tiny tremor of the blade against my skin. Madison would never physically harm me—no matter how angry she was with me. And that gives me some fucking hope.

Perhaps there is a future for us.

Tension builds and rolls off my shoulders at the thickness in the air between all of us. Keen as a horse, Madison shifts on her feet and angles her body towards me. Immediately sensing my uneasiness. Out of habit, her hand slides up the sleeve of my tux. Her fingers wrap around my bicep, giving it a warning squeeze.

Lexi breaks the tension, walking between us and handing Maddy some colorfully rimmed glass of champagne. It looks like cotton candy.

“For you,sexy.” Her mascara coated lashes come together as she winks at her, before looking over her shoulder and shrugging. “Sorry, Kil. They were fresh out of the drink that removes the stick from out of your ass. Maybe try a laxative?”

Madison’s coughs out a laugh, spraying some of that cotton candy champagne into the space between us. Those warm almond eyes of hers widen in shock, before her baby blue manicured hand comes up and covers her mouth. Conor chuckles nervously, wrapping an arm around his woman and pulling her closer to him.

I lean over and bark out a laugh to the point of tears. I look up to Sel, hoping we didn’t offend her in her own home, when she also breaks out in hysterics. Her hand covers her stomach as she does so.

Killian remains stoic for a moment before the corner of his lips comes up and he shoots us all a genuine smile beneath his silver fox mask.Did hell freeze over ?I haven't seen a smile on my brother in quite some time.

“Good one, Lex,” he says, rubbing his wife’s back. The two of them had quietly married in the fall. Neither myself or Madison had been invited. Killian informed me of their marriage in passing one day and explained they will be having a larger wedding after the baby is born.

Where I am ecstatic that my brother finally got the girl he fell in love with all those years ago, I am frustrated with how he’s been acting. My brother never wanted this role. He’s always been the one to want a somewhat ‘normal’ life. He wanted the wife. The big family. I always thought out of the two of us, I was the better fit.

Killian puts his emotions into his work, which can create problems. It already has. And that’s not to say that if roles were reversed, and it came to Madison, I wouldn’t have let my emotions lead me. I absolutely would have. But it was how he went about seeking revenge that has me questioning if this is who he will continue to be as a leader.

We can’t afford another war.

“Ohh,” Sel sighs, grabbing onto her stomach. “Damn it, Lex, you made me pee myself. This baby is literally laying on my—OW.” A gush of liquid splashes onto the floor from between her legs. I’m no doctor, but I can almost guarantee you that isn’t pee.

Sel rubs circles around her stomach while Killian hooks and arm around her waist. “Sel. Are you alright, love?” The concern in his voice is temporarily subduing the anger I feel towards him.

“My water just broke. Our son is ready to make his appearance, Kil.”

My brother’s eyes go wide and he stills. The same way you would see a new dad do in movies. I reach out to steady him and grip his shoulder.

“You’ve got this, Kil. You both do.” I smile down at Selena and Kil breaks out of his stupor. He races over to one of the staff and asks them to grab the hospital bags, while telling another to clean up the floor.

Madison and Lexi give Sel a kiss and wish her good luck, while Killian retrieves the bags. “Do you need anything else before we leave?” he asks, turning toward his wife.

“No, baby. We have it all. Your checklist was very thorough,” she giggles before pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek.

“Let's have this baby.” He swings both duffle bags over his shoulder and wraps a protective arm around Sel, guiding them towards the elevator. “Colin and Ryan are coming with me,” he announces before the elevator doors close.

My fingers comb through my hair, effectively messing it up, before undoing the bow tie and shoving it into my pocket.I fucking hate dressing up.I contemplate taking off my raven mask, but decide against it. It is a masquerade after all, and for more than one reason. There are many important people here tonight. Some political, others criminal. More than just tradition, we wear masks to help hide our identity.

From my peripheral, I see Madison smirk. “Caveman,” she mumbles under her breath. I can’t help but smile at her. This is the older version of Madison that is making a comeback. Not that I would change who she has become—the woman she is now is absolutely stronger than the woman who went out for a smoke at her graduation dinner.

---