Page 58 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

“Either I am extremely jetlagged and misheard you, or you said words I never thought I’d hear coming out of your mouth. Youbroke upwith Madison?!” Anger rises inside me, prompting me to slam my fork down onto my plate. Sel jumps in her seat, quietly watching our interaction.

“I realize how selfish I’ve been with her.Wewere selfish with her, Kil. She doesn’t deserve any of this bullshit. We should have never involved her in this world in the first place.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I inhale sharply. “What do you meanyou paid them a visitlast night? I told you to come directly here. Geraldo and his men could be anywhere in our immediate location as we speak. How could you be soreckless?” My voice grows in intensity.

“Love makes you stupid and blind—apparently. Maddy’s going through a lot emotionally. I don’t blame her one bit. I do, however, blame Diego for being the cause of that. Madison has changed. And it’s not that I can’t love this version of her. I will always love her no matter what. But I refuse to be the one to keep her in a constant state of danger. Diego would be wise to do the same—when all of this is over. It’s obvious that Madison has developed some sort of feelings for him during all of this. Even though she may still love me, she can’t help but feel something for him too.” He says Diego’s name with such venom it makes Selena flinch.

Liam takes a sip of his coffee before continuing, “I figured now would be the best time to put an end to us. She can hate me. Shewillhate me. Eventually she’ll hate him, too—and hopefully move on from us when this is all said and done.”

I shake my head and let out a hefty breath. “Yer aneejit, Liam. What you can’t grasp in all of this is that Madison chose you. She choseyou, arsehole. It’s her choice to be a part of this life. She knows damn well the risk. I know you want to protect her, because you love her, but this—” I point an index finger at him, “ —this decision to let her go may have been the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, and I fear that you pushed her right into the arms of Diego. So that plan of yours to keep her out of this life,willbackfire. She’ll end up in this life, whether you like it or not—but not with you. You’ll be forced to see her at holidays and family events—on his arm. Excuse me.” I slide my chair back and walk over to place a kiss on Selena’s head. “Stay. You need to eat, and I need to try and sort out where your uncle and his men are.”

Selena pats the hand I have resting on her shoulder, before placing a sweet kiss to my palm. “Okay, baby.”

Slidingmy phone out of my back pocket, I decide I should call Madison first. On the third ring she answers.

“Kil.” Her voice is rough, lacking its normal charm and warmth. She mustn’t have slept well last night.Can ya blame her?

“Are you alright, love?”

“No. I’m not,” she says in a sigh.

Another female voice carries over the line.

“Madison, can we get you anything to eat? Perhaps a fruit platter? Maybe an omelette?”

Her hand covers the speaker, muffling their conversation. “Fruit wouldbe amazing, Eloise. Any chance you have more of those lemon tarts around?”

“Of course. I’ll bring some refreshments as well.”

“Thank you.” More static and shuffling fills the line before Madison speaks more clearly. “I know that I’m confused and slightly unhinged, but that’s not even why Liam ended this. He wants me out of this life completely. I don’t know what else to do to convince him that I want to be here.”

“I’ll talk to him. He’s…a goddamn mess right now. Lainey had to force feed him a smoothie this morning to make him puke up the bottle of whiskey he drank last night.” I lean over the railing, looking out toward wherePontusis, wondering what Maddy is up to at the moment.

“Lainey is there?” she questions angrily.Did I miss something?

“Yeah, I had her fly out last night. Our head chef is sick, and I knew Lainey wouldn’t mind. She could use the change of scenery. Plus, with Selena expecting, we could use a chef I am comfortable with. It always puts us at a greater risk, the more people who know.”

“Well that’s…perfect.Just fucking perfect.”Is she mad about the baby?I didn’t think she would have taken the news this way. I was certain she was over her and I.

“Am I missing something here?” I say, picking up a lot of tension and even a hint of jealousy.

“Nope. Glad Lainey is there to lick Liam’s wounds. Listen, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. He made his choice. I have to accept it—even if I don’t want to hear it. He’s going to look back one day and realize that this was a huge mistake. The difference is, I’d rather be with him now and embrace the unknown, than to end something real and rare. And for what ? Potentially preventing bad things from happening? To give me a life I wanted before him? That changed and I’m okay with that. I’d rather know I was loved fiercely, until my last breath, than to always yearnfor someone, knowing that we could have been together but chose not to.”

Fuck. My mind always resorts back to the time when she was mine. The lass who is strong and unwilling to back down. The one who puts her feelings before fear and logic. The woman who would do anything to protect the ones she loves. Liam fucked up big time.

“Give him some time. Perhaps this will all blow over after Geraldo’s reign ends. Speaking of, is Diego with you? I’d like to speak to him.”

“He left early to meet Geraldo on the mainland. He texted me to tell me he’d be back in an hour. I’ll let him know you called. Oh, and Kil?”

“Yeah?”

“Congrats. You’re going to be an amazing father. You always said you wanted a family and now you’ll have that.”

“Thank you. That means so much. What you are doing to help end this war is commendable. You are risking a lot here… and I don’t just mean Liam. Regardless of his relationship status with you, know you’ll always belong in our family. You are just as much a part of the Tri-State Syndicate and the Kennedy family as Liam, Kieran, Colin, Conor or even I am. Hell, I’ll even make it official if you want. You can be inducted in, get your Triskelion tattoo and say the oath just like we all did. Typically, there is a small party after. The women aren’t required to get inducted in or wear the tattoo. They are usually married into this life, or are already blood. For you, and the sacrifices you’ve made, I want to offer you an opportunity to be recognized for that.”

“I’ll think about it. Thanks, Kil.”

“Keep ya head up, love.” I lower my voice an octave. “And keep your wits about you. Diego wants you, and I don’t trust that it’s with the best intentions.”

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