Page 50 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

That’s when I let the tears fall. I tend to hold a lot in, always putting on a smile or acting strong when inside I’m trembling with fear and anxiety.How is this my life?I went from being a good girl, a nursing student, ready for her first big career in the medical field. To being caught up in not one but two criminal organizations.

Ugly tears drip down my cheeks and run off my chin onto my phone screen. I’ve been staring at it for the past fifteen minutes like it’s a live bomb.

I need to talk to Liam.

And that scares the hell out of me.

But what scares me most, is that Diego is stirring something inside me that should not exist. You see, the thing is, Liam is it for me. I know that down into the depths of my soul. Yet, I’m hurting him just as bad as I’m hurting myself by committing to this assignment. I’m putting my life at risk because it’s what feels right, instead of just letting Diego, Killian, and Liam settle this.

I should call Lexi. She probably doesn’t have a clue what's going on with me. Using the sleeve of my shirt, I swipe at the liquid pooled on my phone screen and dial my best friend.

“Hello?”

“Lex, it’s me.” My voice cracks from lack of sleep and the thick emotions churning in my gut.

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ, Maddy. I’ve been worried sick about you!”

“I know,” I sigh. “It’s been an eventful last few weeks. Has Conor filled you in?”

“A bit. Like the fact that you were taken by Selena’s brother Diego—and not just off with Killian on an extended vacation to Greece. Your family wasn’t easily convinced but somehow managed to let it go. Mikayla has her own suspicions about what happened that night. Where the hell are you?”

I stay silent, knowing I should tell her but not wanting to worry her more. The need to tell someone overrides my need to keep things on the down low. “I am in Greece…in Mykonos. On a superyacht.”

“Conor said that you chose to go with Diego? That Liam and Killian had gotten you back from some private island off the coast of Miami. Is that true?” Her voice is full of frustration and a sternness I rarely receive from her.

“I did. Diego, Selena’s brother, is not as bad as everyone makes him out to be.” I pace my room before sitting in the little cushioned nook by the window. “He wants to help so many people, Lex. After encountering his uncle…I knew agreeing to go with him could make a difference.”

“It’s not safe or smart—and you know it.What about Liam? How is he holding up?” she whispers his name.

“Why are you whispering? Is Conor there?”

“Um…no. He left straight from Miami for an assignment.”

“What are you not telling me?” My eyebrows come together, confused at her hesitancy.

“Conor’s with Liam.”

“Well, I guess Killian is showing some sort of mercy towards him. You know he sent him to Ireland?”

“Conor told me. Poor guy just got you back only to be separated from you.”

“It seemed like Killian wanted to punish him. He blames Liam’s inability to listen to his command for why we are in this situation right now. Basically, those two aren’t on great terms at the moment. Besides that, Liam needs to stay off the radar for a while until this plan is…executed. Liam is supposed to be quote unquote—dead.”

“Ha. You’re bat shit crazy if you think Liam will obey that order. I wouldn’t be surprised if that man is hiding under your bed right now.”

Fresh tears coat my eyes and fall more freely knowing how right she is. I love that about him. How he would doanythingfor me. How his love for me knows no bounds.

Sniffling and clearing the huge knot in my throat, I say, “He proposed to me before I left for Mykonos.”

“What?! Holy fuckballs, Mad. Of course you said yes?” She says it in more of a confirmation than a question.

I sniffle again then laugh. “Of course I did. I love him. I want our future. I want children one day. And for all of this to be behind us like some awful distant memory. I just know that may never really be possible. Look what happened to me in a matter of months. “ A sob escapes me as I rub away the wet mascara clinging to my eyelashes.

“Mad…Conor couldn’t tell me much about the time you spent on that island…did anyone… you know you can tell me anything.” Her soothing voice is all I need to confess what I’ve been afraid to even admit to myself outloud.

“No. No one hurt me in that way. Diego’s uncle is a fucking monster, he left bruises and scars all over my body— some visible and some… not—but he never got the chance to take it any further. Diego made sure of that.”

Lexi gasps at my admission. Her voice wobbles as she sobs, “ Oh, Madison. I’m so fucking sorry you got wrapped up into all of this. Why are you doing this? Just come home. Tell Diego to bring you back to New York. If he let you go, why are you really there with him?”

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