Page 29 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

I just pray this desire of hers to help Diego—isn’t going to be that day.

After a few dozenlaps in the pool, I push myself up over the pavers and sit. Footsteps approach me as I’m reaching over to grab my smokes from my pants pocket. A shadow makes its way over to me. Her beautiful features become illuminated by the blue light of the pool. Steam swirls around her, making her look even more ethereal.My Goddess.

Black—now chipped—painted toenails catch my attention as she pads towards me.

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping, baby?” I ask, my brow cocked as I drink her in.

She slips her fingers into the band of her sweatpants, pushing them down her sexy legs, and steps out of them. Maeve had provided her with a fresh set of panties—which are now huggingmy favorite part of her. Suddenly, I am extremely envious of a lace pair of panties. My cock springs to life under my boxers, ready to pick up where we left off.

She takes a seat next to me, dipping her long sexy legs into the water, and rests her head on my shoulder. “I did—for a little while. I don’t want to waste time sleeping when I can be spending it with you.”

That makes my heart soar. As much as I’d love for my cock to take a deep dive into that sweet wet pussy, I just want to hold her.

“Ya want a cigarette?” I rasp. She chews on her lip and her eyelashes flutter as her head swivels to look up at me. Those gorgeous eyes meet mine, stunning me into silence,as always. My hand comes up to cup her cheek, my thumb stroking the soft skin beneath it. I lean in and claim her lips, the sweetest sin a man can covet. They are lush and full and speak the filthiest things when I’m inside her.

“I’d love one, but right now—your lips are going to pacify my need.” Her arms come up and circle my neck, bringing me closer to her.

“We are going to be okay, baby,” I concede. “No matter what happens now, no matter how far away I am. I will always be yours. You need me, sweetheart—I’m on a plane. A boat. I’ll fucking swim there. I don’t care about the repercussions. Part of me is ready to just sayfuck it alland come with you. Except, after calming down, I realized they’re right.” I lower my head until our foreheads touch.

“If we stick to the plan, we can save countless livesandchange the future of the two syndicates moving forward,” she says. The cutest smile forms on her face. One full of pride in herself.

I would give anything to go back to a few weeks ago. When life wasn’t like this. So fucking complicated and painful. I mean—it was still complicated—this isjust completely fucked.

Pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose, I reach behind me and grab my lighter and smokes. I pull two from the pack and light them both, handing her one. Her head falls back onto my shoulder as we look out and watch the hint of the sun rising along the horizon. Vibrant purples, oranges, and pinks start to creep into the sky.

I take a deep pull of my cigarette. From my peripheral, I watch her do the same. We sit in silence for a while, enjoying this moment of stillness and temporary reprieve from the chaos.

Smoke billows out from the side of her mouth with a sigh. “I need to take a pregnancy test before we leave.”

Believe it or not, I’ve never been tased before. But I could imagine this is what it feels like to be slammed with 50,000 volts.

“Why? I thought you said no one?—”

“No one did. In the bathroom at the steakhouse three weeks ago was the last time we had sex. I haven’t had access to my birth control pills since then, so who knows.” She shrugs, taking another deep drag of her cigarette.

Christ. My child—our child—could be growing inside her right now. That elated feeling is quickly replaced with dread. The realization we are about to part ways rears its ugly head.

No.Hell no.

If that stick shows two pink lines, we are changing course on everything. I am hiding Madison on the other end of the continent.

Warm, firm hands grip my bicep, pulling me out of my rampant thoughts. “I doubt we are, but I have to be sure. I also need to get my birth control or some other long-term form of it. I am going to be away for a while.”

My brows pull together as I turn to her, pulling smoke into my lungs and exhaling above our heads. “Why would you need birth control if you and I are apart?”

“My periods are really bad, babe. I have PCOS. I’d rather not deal with painful cramps and erratic periods while being out atsea and in the company of Diego and his staff.” The muscle in my jaw pulses at the mention of that fuckers name. I also feel like a dick now for assuming the worst.

Told you I’m a savage.

I slide the ashtray over to us and snub my cigarette out. Madison takes one final drag before doing the same. “Listen—” I reach out and stroke her face, “—I apologize. I never really got into detail with my mum about periods and all that. I’m sorry for assuming it was strictly for prevention. And for assuming that you…perhaps…would need it at some point. This whole situation has me on edge. I see the way Diego looks at you and how you respond to him. It scares the hell out of me, Madison.”

Leaning in, she places a brief kiss on my lips. “You don’t have to worry about him. He may enjoy his women submissive, but he wouldnevertouch me. He promised not to touch me like that unless I asked. And since I never will, you will never have to worry.”

That doesn’t comfort me in the least. I told myself the same thing when Madison was dating Killian—and I was too weak. I gave into temptation with her.

She made me crazy.

She still does.

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