Page 76 of If Tomorrow Never Comes

The sliding door squeaks open. Liam steps out onto the balcony to join me, leaning his forearms against the railing.

“Selena’s c-section is scheduled for this weekend. You barely spent any time at all with your family for the holidays. I think it would be nice to head back to New York for the New Years Eve Masquerade Gala,” he announces, looking out at the reflection of the moon on the surface of the water. “Plus, Killian made me the head of the “planning committee”, he air quotes, laying the sarcasm on thick. “I honestly havenofucking clue what I’m doing. I could really use your help, love.”

I turn my head to look at him. His brows have come together, clearly uncomfortable having this conversation with me. It’s not like we talk much outside of our training. He tilts his head a fraction, an adorable smile creeps its way onto his face, breaking the tension between us.

“Wow. I can’t believe it’s been a year since…I found out about you and your involvement in the underworld.” I turn and lean a hip against the railing, giving him my full attention.

He mirrors me, going as far as to take a step closer into my space. This is physically the closest we’ve been outside of sparring. My heart picks up at his nearness and the newfound determination igniting behind his eyes.

“So… is that a yes? If not for me, at least come home to New York to meet Selena’s son.Technically,he’s your nephew.”

“Last year’s party turned outoh so well.I can barely hold back my excitement for this year,” I scoff, adding a bit of sarcasm to lessen the blow. It’s become a challenge to wear this mask around him. To pretend I still don’t care about Liam, when I do. Yet, so much has happened to create such a big wedge. I’ve had feelings towards Liam I never thought I would.

Anger. Pain.Betrayal.

Even if I didn’t choose Diego, I’m not certain I would have gotten back with Liam. He made it clear he wanted a different life for me. In many ways Diego tried to get me to see that perspective as well. Which is why I have decided to forgive Liam.

I’ve been considering starting fresh, getting the hell away from all of this. But everytime I do, my heart breaks a little bit more than it already has. That would mean leaving the family I’ve found in all of them. Liam especially. Not seeing his handsome face or hearing his cranky ass complain about work or some college kid drama would be miserable. His stories ofSchmitty’shave lightened the energy in this house, taking me back to a simpler time.

“I promise you, you’ll be safer than the Pope. If that’s what you’re worried about.” Liam’s voice breaks me out of my reverie. He takes my hand in his, his thumb tracing circles over my knuckles. “You need time away from here. As beautiful as it is, a change of scenery may be nice. Plus, there’s snow up there. You love snow.”

I let out a sigh, knowing damn well, I do need a change of pace. I do the same thing every day. First coffee and breakfast that I cook for Liam, Kieran and I. Then a morning full of intense training followed by reading a book or tanning on the beach. Up next is lunch, a quick dip in the pool and then sparring with Liam or Kieran. My evening ends with a healthy dinner, withor without the guys— depending on their schedule—followed by a nice bath or shower. Sometimes I’ll catch up with Lexi or my sisters. Other times, I’m too tired to even keep my eyes open. Staying distracted and busy has kept my mind off of my emotions towards Liam and the grief over losing Diego.

Lifting my hand out from beneath his and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I nod my head. “Okay. I’m in. I’ll need to get a dress.”

Liam’s smile widens and his chest heaves with excitement. “That can be arranged. I’ll contact Rebecca and make an appointment for you and Lexi. She’ll be there with Con, you know. The question is… your plane or mine?” He waggles his eyebrows playfully.

“Mine.Definitelymine. Yours doesn’t have a fancy coffee machine. If we are going to plan an entire gala in just a few days, I am going to need some decent coffee.”

He shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear. Even his mood has shifted, the dark cloud that has been hanging over him has dissipated. “Such a coffee snob,” he teases as his gaze directs to the black raven necklace I still wear. Icouldn’t take it off.His lips form a thin line, probably wondering why I even bother to wear it anymore. Considering I make it a habit to still wear my wedding rings.

“You know it. What time should I set up our flight?”

“The earlier the better. Let’s leave tonight.”

“And where are we sleeping?” I ask, addressing the elephant in the room.

“Killian’s, but we can get a hotel if you’d like,” he says hesitantly. “Is that okay? I’ll take the guest room, you can sleep in my room.”

“Yeah. That’s fine. You don’t have to do that. I can sleep in the guest room. You should sleep in your own bed.”

He tugs on my ponytail, “I know how much you love that mattress. Idon’t mind taking the guest room if it means you sleeping in my bed again. I miss my sheets smelling like you.”

I walk away, feeling flushed and needing some space between us. “I’ll set it up. I’m going to go get showered and ready. I’ll see you in a few, Liam.” Raising my hand up I wave awkwardly before scurrying off to my room to pack.

“You look incredible, Maddy,”Selena gushes, pulling her in and attempting to hug her. The lass’ cute, very pregnant belly has dropped and sits between them, creating an awkward, arse out and bent forward at the hip hug. Madison blushes, taking a step back to admire Selena’s rather stunning silver gown. Swarvoski crystals drip off the dress, giving it a wet effect.

“I told her the same thing when I picked her and Lexi up from the salon,” I add, playfully nudging my shoulder against Maddy’s. “She didn’t respond as warmly as when you said it, Sel.”

My little spitfire nudges me right back. “That’s because I see you every day. Sel and I haven’t seen each other in months! I missed you, girly.”

“Missed you, too. I’m glad you came up for the New Year’s Eve Gala. The baby is practically due any minute now. I’d love for you to stay and meet him if you can.” She smiles gently at her best friend while resting her hand on her bare shoulder.

Emotional as ever at this reunion, both of their eyes fill with tears. Unfortunately, as of late, their relationship has been pretty strained. Sel will never know whatreallyhappened that night on the yacht. Killian hasn’t told her and in Madison’s final argument before she decided to stay on the island, he asked her and I not to either.

Personally, I can’t get beyond Killian’s actions that night, and quite frankly, neither can Madison. Let’s not forget how he treated me when we finally got Madison back. He’s changed now that he’s become leader, and it’s not someone Madison or I prefer to spend our time with. Because of that, it’s been difficult for her to hang out with a pregnant Selena without his overbearing and looming presence.

To avoid having to come clean about why, Madison just avoids them altogether.Christ, it fucking sucks.I know she misses her best friends.

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