Page 3 of Tomorrow's Never Promised

That sets me off, and now I start leaking the tears I've carefully kept at bay for the last few months. I told myself to be strong and focus on work and school.And I did just that.

“I promise you I will come out for a girls’ night after these exams.” I smile at her as I wipe a tear away.

Lee knows all the tricks in the book and decides to do a toast to Sean. How can I decline that?

“To Sean, we miss you, man.” Leah’s voice cracks as she raises her glass to the sky. I grab the shot, clink my glass with hers and slam it back.To Sean.

“Ughh…tequila.” I shiver as I close my eyes. Heat instantly spreads across my chest.

I lean over to place the empty shot glass on the end table. As I turn around, Leah is already filling her glass back up. Casually, she hops off the bed to refill my glass, placing the half-empty bottle where my glass once sat.

Iknewshe was up to no good tonight.

She hands me the refreshed glass and holds hers out for one more toast. “Tonight is the night your life is going to change. You are coming out with me no ifs, ands, or buts—” she starts but I interrupt her.

“I love you to death but I need to study,” I mutter.

“And that exam is not until Monday!” she huffs. “You have been studying for the last week. Put it off for one night and come out with us! We are finally all twenty-one and it’s Carly’s birthday!” Carly is our coworker—she and Lee have been thick as thieves lately. I guess that comes with the territory of not going out anymore. The world keeps on moving even if I don’t.

Part of me is screaming to justdo it.It has beensolong since I’ve let loose. I feel the tension starting to leave my body, thanks toMr. Jose Cuervo. The other responsible side of me whispers, I really do need to study.

I sit in silence for a moment, calculating my next move. Grabbing my phone off the bed, I check the battery life—65%—good enough. What I do next, not only shocks me but shocks Leah as well.

I slam the second shot back and in my bestGrinchvoice, counter, “‘But what will I wear?’”

Leah immediately jumps into action. She hastily takes her shot of tequila, shakes her head from the taste, and grabs my hand. Throwing the empty glasses on the table, she pulls me full force toward my closet. Within seconds, she is sifting through my clothes, mumbling yes and no to each dress.

It is the first week of November, and it's freezing already, especially in Connecticut. If I’m going out, I’m calling the shots on what I wear. And news flash—itisn’tgoing to be a barely there, thigh-high dress.

“Lee, I amnotwearing a fucking dress in this weather,” I laugh. “Plus, you know there is no coat check. If we are walking to Schmitty’s, I’ll freeze my ass off before we even get there.” I throw my hands up, contemplating staying home.

Leah bends down to the bottom of the closet, rummaging through its contents. I watch as she grabs a pair of my thigh-high, black suede boots with the studs on the side and tosses them onto the carpet. She strolls over to my dresser and pulls out my black leather leggings, a black lace long-sleeve shirt, black camisole, and a pink lace thong.Can you tell that I basically only wear black?The exception is always my panties. I love a good surprise.

The devilish grin Lee’s fronting as she tosses them on top of my boots is further proof she’s got plans for me tonight.

Fuck. IsMad Maddyready to make her debut again? My cheeks heat. I’d blame it all on the tequila, but I alsomissfeeling sexy and desired. This outfit will most definitely turn some heads.

“Put these on and your favorite hoop earrings, and meet me in my room when you’re done,” Leah says as she walks into the hallway.

I’m undressing when she pops her head back in with a big shit-eating grin on her face. “I’m proud of you, Mad. I know you’re scared to get back out there, but I just have afeelingabout tonight. Everything is going to change,” she sings while sashaying away.

I laugh and smile back at her as I take Sean’s oversized t-shirt off. For the first time in over a year, it feels like pieces of my armor are coming off.

His shirts were my safety net.

My way of living with hisghost.

It was time tolive—and not just for me—but for him too. For a life lost too young. For a beautiful, kind soul that didn't get to experience all the amazing things this world has to offer.Marriage.Children.A full night of sleep. Dreams.Stability.

Instead, this beautiful human experienced the pain andtrauma of war and the demons that followed him as a consequence. He was just a boy sent across the world, fighting to keep us safe.

I need to liveforhim.

Suddenly, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A chill runs over my arms and wraps around me as I take a deep breath. Goosebumps spring up over my skin, blanketing my entire body.I miss you, Sean.

I get ready with more enthusiasm, feeling so much lighter than before. I do a quick once-over in my full-length mirror on the back of the door, shake my hair out of its bun, and head to the bathroom Lee and I share.

Leah is sitting on the edge of her bed, her eyes laser-focused on her phone. That devilish grin is back as her fingers fly over the screen. She must be texting Chase—the Hockey God. I was never interested in any hockey players…but the bouncers at Schmitty’s? Well, I should sayoneparticular bouncer—always caught my eye.I wonder if he’ll be there tonight.

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