Page 74 of Tomorrow's Never Promised

“I need to make it up to her. I’ve been a dick, using her as a way to ruffle Madison’s feathers. Don’t get me wrong, there absolutely is still a spark between us that never went away. But I haven’t been going out of my way to make her happy. She deserves to be loved the right way.” I take a sip of my drink, letting the booze soothe my racing mind. “I’m just afraid to get close to her again. We ended off in such a bad way. I never want to feel that way again. When she stopped seeing me, my world felt empty. I felt empty. And now, after losing Madison too, I don’t know if I have it in me to open my heart again the way she deserves.”

“I think you do. Selena is still here, isn’t she?She loves you, Kil.Now that you took a step back from the Madison thing, it will be easier to see how much you love her too.”

* * *

The restof the trip was very nice. We ventured out to some orchards, played board games, and drank some more. Selena and I got the chance to spend time by ourselves Saturday night.

We started in our hot tub and ended up on the floor by the fireplace. It was romantic and different from our usual marathon of quick dirty sex. I think my conversation with Madison last night officially closed the chapter on us. Part of me wants to keep fighting. She told me she still cares—but I know I shouldn’t. Plus I feel like perhaps Madison was right about Selena. We do have something really special.

Selena still loves me and wants me to be vulnerable around her. I just have to let myself open up to her. Madison was always in the back of my mind. It’s become easier to fall back into things with Selena in a more romantic way after last night.

A gentle hand caresses my chest. I wrap my hand around hers. “What are you thinking about, baby?” she whispers.

I kiss the top of her head and wrap the comforter tighter around her. “I haven’t been very fair to you these last few weeks. And I’m sorry about that. I was still getting over everything and not giving you the attention you deserved.”

“I know you were. Something changed in you today. What happened?” She runs her hands over my face, tracing my nose and lips with her finger.

“Madison and I had a conversation last night. She and I are both ready to leave everything in the past. I guess we each got the closure we needed.”

Selena nuzzles into me and closes her eyes. “I’m glad, Kil. I like Maddy. She's smart, she’s sweet, and Liam certainly loves her. I’ve never seen him so happy before.”

I nod and pull her body closer to mine, not feeling the jealousy flare up as much as it used to when the two of them were mentioned.

“They both are truly happy. And you make me happy. I want you to be mine again, I know I’ve kept you waiting for a while. That is—if you still want me.”

I feel her smile grow wide against my chest. She looks up and kisses me with so much passion. It brings back the feelings I had that were buried deep beneath the surface.The feelings I had when I would do anything for her.

“I know this sounds silly…but even when you were with Madison…I still felt like I was yours,” she says against my lips. “You never stopped being mine.”

We stay silent, listening to the fire crackle next to us. I massage her scalp until her eyes gently flutter closed.

“Killian, you’ve always been it for me. Since we were younger, I always knew one day we would be together. When my dad broke off our engagement, I felt like I had died inside.” She opens her eyes, revealing so much pain. “I refused to come out of my room for months. I couldn’t eat. I had lost so much weight. I was practically a zombie. When we got a few opportunities to connect again, I felt alive. My body has always been so in tune with yours. It was like we didn’t need introductions again. We just fell back into the same rhythm. My father found out about our meetings. He threatened to not only kill you—but he would start a war with the Tri-State Syndicate if I ever saw you again. So I ghosted you. I’m so sorry, Kil. I was just so scared he’d kill you. I chose to be miserable rather than have people I cared about at risk. You know I love your family like my own.”

Tears fall from her eyes, and I rub gentle circles on her back, taking in all that she said.

Holy shit. She wanted me the whole time.

I’m so glad we ended that motherfucker’s life. He was a piece of shit father and a dirty corrupt leader. I need to tell her this—but now’s not the right time.

I roll her over and enter her slowly, making love to her again.

Today is the day!I walked for graduation with my peers and friends. My family was all there in the crowd as well as Liam, Killian, Selena, and some men from the Syndicate. They all shouted as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma. I thought I would die from embarrassment. The dean said a nice sentimental speech about the community’s hope for Chase and his father’s safe return. They went ‘missing’ after a charity hockey game.

Killian and Liam set up a nice dinner for my family at a steakhouse back in the city. They rented the whole place out just for me. At times, I still can’t believe this is my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve never felt more myself than when I’m with Liam.

There is one problem, though.My family still thinks I am dating Killian.I wanted to set the record straight, but everyone agreed it would be best to tell them in a few months.

My dad is chatting away with my sister Mel, mom is drinking and talking with Killian, and Liam is sitting with my sister Mikayla—looking extremely uncomfortable.He looks like he could use an out.I walk over to them to see what they are talking about.

“Liam, is my sister chewing your ear off?” I mouth, “I’m sorry,” behind her back. The corner of his lips goes up, and he nods.

“Actually, I was just telling Liam that I don’t believe this whole charade you all are putting on,” she says sweetly as she takes a sip of her wine.

I laugh. “What are you talking about, Mik?”

She lowers her voice, “I know you and Killian aren’t together anymore. This guy over here—” she jabs a manicured thumb his way “—goes nuts every time he places a hand on your lower back. He’s tried jumping out of his seat a few times when Killian kissed your temple. And Selena over there—she’s honestly super sweet, has been puppy dog eyes for Killian the whole night. So… Liam, Maddy, care to tell me what’s going on?”

Oh Mik. Always so fucking observant. I haven’t told anyone except Lexi that Liam and I are together. I am about to respond when Liam does it for me.

---