Page 62 of Tomorrow's Never Promised

“I came home before your celebration—I was planning on surprising you. Liam still thought I was in Ireland, but I managed to finish everything over there as quickly as possible. Right before I was about to leave for the Triskelion, Alan and Chase called to tell me their little story.” He pinches the bridge of his nose and bows his head. “Selena texted me to congratulate me, and that’s when I told her to get on a plane to New York.” He runs a hand through his damp hair and lets out a shaky breath.

“When I spoke to Liam that night, I realized how badly I had fucked up. I was on my way to his house to come and talk to you when Ryan and Conor called me frantic. They were already on their way to you, but they didn’t know how bad it would be…” agony laces his voice. “Your phone pinged your location, so I knew how to find you.”

“You’ve been tracking me?” My anger begins to boil.

His eyes find mine again. “I do have a tracker on your phone, yes. I never used it before last night though. Madison,I swear to you. I know you aren’t happy with me right now—I’m seriously ashamed of myself,” he admits, rubbing my leg through the comforter.

“I understand now how…complicatedour situation has become. I really hope we can work through this. I do love you, Madison. I was hurting and stupid and acted out of spite with the wrong information in my hands.”

He reaches for my hand, but I pull it away closer to my body. Tears line my eyes. I swipe at the liquid angrily.

“I forgive you, Killian. But I can’t move beyond what has already transpired. If I am being completely honest with you, I was wavering on my feelings from the beginning. Because of how things left off with Liam. Never in a million years did I expect to see him at the gala, let alone discover that he’s yourbrother.”

Killian reaches over to the nightstand to grab a tissue. I take it from him and wipe my eyes.

“Selena and I were a lot like you and Liam. We met a few times at our father’s events as young adults. We had always felt a spark but never really acted on it. One day my father approached me, telling me we were to be wed in two years' time. So we dated and got to know each other as best we could. And we found that we genuinely enjoyed each others presence.”

I look at him and his eyes have softened. Finally, he is opening up to me about Selena. “Our sex was …” he looks up for approval to continue. I nod my head. “The sex wasamazing. It was passionate and wild. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Then her father pulled the plug on the whole thing right before our wedding. Tensions rose within our families, and we became enemies.”

“What happened after that?” I am now invested in hearing more of his story.

“I loved her…or IthoughtI did. So we secretly kept in touch, until one day she stopped returning my calls.I’ve never toldanyonethat before,” he smiles softly at me.

Killian lays back on the bed with his arms behind his head. He looks at the ceiling as he speaks. “I realize that perhaps we were just in love with theideaof us. The sex and the thrill of being forbidden lovers made us crave each other more. Butthat’s not love. My point is—you and I started something real. Something with a solid foundation. You and Liam…you both want each other right now because of the thrill of not being able to have each other.”

I sit silently, digesting what he just said. “You’re wrong,” I whisper.

He turns his head to look at me. “What you just explained about Selena sounds a lot like love to me. That is how loveshouldfeel. It should make you feel on edge. You’ll be ready to take a new leap of faith or risk—just to be around them.” I smile, thinking of how Liam makes me feel and feeling extremely blessed that he’s alive right now.

“When they aren’t around, you feel like you can’t breathe. It’s like your soul left right along with them. That’s how I felt when Liam left for his assignment in November. I was completely destroyed. When you left to go to Ireland, I was hurt. I was sad. But I wasn’t feeling like half of my soul went with you. I’m sorry, Killian.” His lips form a thin line at my confession.

“Do you remember how you felt when Selena finally ended things with you?” I push for him to understand.

Killian sighs, running one hand up his chest. “Yeah, I felt like nothing else mattered after that. I felt like I could go the next seventy years alone and not give a fuck.”

He turns over and leans on his elbow. “Then I met you. You made me feel alive again. You made me feel something other than anger and loss. You opened my heart back up again, Madison. I mean that. ”

“And how did you feel when Selena met you the other night?”

“I washurting, I told you. So seeing her was like a sight for sore eyes. So many of our memories came back in full force. She comforted me, and we got drunk…then one thing led to another.”

“That’s not answering my question. How did youfeelknowing she came all that way to be with you?”

“It felt good. Damn it, Madison. What are you trying to prove here?”

“That we can fall in love multiple times in our lives, but sometimes we can’t control the timing of when we recognize that.”

“So you are saying that I’ve been in love with Selena this whole time. And only recognized it the other night when we reconnected? I hope you don’t think I settled for you because I didn’t.” He looks confused.

“I don’t think you settled for me. In the same way I didn’t settle for you after Liam. I think our hearts just found familiarity and healing within each other, and we called that love.Which in a way it is.Love is when you are willing to do anything to see that person happy. To make them feel stability and safety. Plus, the sex washot,” I laugh, trying to lessen the blow.

He rubs his chin, contemplating what I said. He crawls up the bed and puts two hands on each side of the pillow I'm laying on. He leans down, gentle enough not to touch my body with his.

“Does this make your heart race for me, love? What if I kissed you right now? Tell me that you don’t miss me at all. Or that if I was Liam right now, you wouldn’t be by my side.”

His eyes peer into mine as he continues his speech. “IknowI fucked up, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that wedolove each other. I hear what you are saying about Selena. And perhaps Liam has you all fired up—for now—but you can’t deny we still sharesomethinghere.”

His nose and lips hover over mine.My heart does race. I wish it didn’t. He places a tender kiss on my lips then gets off the bed.

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