Page 81 of The Pretty Psycho

VEGA

My entire lifehas been marked by this invisible weight I've been carrying around, completely unaware of the fact that it was even there. I had no idea how hard I tried to run from everything that could make me feel good until I gave myself to this man standing in front of me, grinning from ear to ear as if I had given him the greatest gift ever known to mankind.

His dark hair was tousled, his eyes sparkling with mischief, and something akin to happiness that I hadn’t seen before. We felt… light, for lack of a better word. It was as if my heart finally broke free of the chains I'd kept it trapped in and was now starting to expand in my chest, making enough space for him.

Adrian kept dragging his thumb over my cheek, looking at me, stealing soft kisses from my lips, pressing us together as if he too couldn't get enough of me. I wished we could go somewhere right now, just disappear and spend time alone together, far away from this disgusting world that was created to destroy those with softer hearts.

I thought I was strong because I rarely ever let anyone in, but the truth was that it made me weak. It made me cruel, blind to the wonders of the world, allowing life to pass by me instead ofliving it. I was too afraid to love someone because I didn't want to lose them.

I was afraid even now while I stared at him, because I had no idea what tomorrow would bring, but I refused to let that fear control me. Not anymore.

It was healthy to be afraid sometimes. If we were afraid of nothing, what were we really living for?

"Are you okay?" Adrian asked, moving my hair away from my face, his voice barely above whisper. "That was pretty intense."

"I'm more than okay," I mumbled, nuzzling my face in the crook of his neck. "I have never felt better."

His body shook from quiet laughter, but I wasn't joking. Here in this abandoned building, minutes away from doomsday, I felt better than I ever had before. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt cherished and taken care of, and even when he turned rough, when he lost control, I still knew I was safe with him.

I was always told not to make homes out of people, because people were like seasons—changeable, tricky, filled with all sorts of emotions we couldn't quite understand—and yet I wanted to create a home in his arms.

I wanted to wake up next to him. I yearned to spend the rest of my life by his side, if he would let me.

A couple of months ago these thoughts would've made me shudder, because the notion of being close in such a way was as unfamiliar to me as the notion of a family. But here I was, ready to jump into this no matter the consequences.

I think that a part of accepting love from somebody else was knowing that neither one of you were flawless. I had my demons and he had his, but together maybe we could finally learn how to tame them.

"There are so many things I want to tell you," I said on a sigh. "So many dreams I have pushed away because I didn't know better, and I want you to have them. I want you to see that part ofme." I pulled back, keeping my arms wrapped around his neck. "I want you to know my nightmares as well."

"I do too," he rasped. "I don't want us to fight like that anymore, Bambi. I… God," he stammered. "I shouldn’t have walked away like that. Subconsciously, I was trying to punish you. I was trying to show you what it felt like, and I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry."

"I think I’m almost maybe grateful you did it, because I needed the wake-up call. I needed that push no matter how painful it was. The thought of not having you, not being able to kiss you, touch you, I couldn't stand it, Adrian. I couldn't fucking stand it, but I was too stubborn. I was insecure, even if it pains me to admit that."

"You're not the only one." He smiled softly. "I don't know how to do this, you know? Relationships, they, well…" He cleared his throat, slowly stepping away from me. "It's not like I had good role models throughout my life. My family is as fucked up as they come, but I promise you, Bambi." He knelt down, leisurely pulling up my pants and buttoning them. "I'll do my best to give you everything you deserve," he ended as he stood up, placing his palms on my cheekbones.

Thethud-thudof my heart echoed in my ears, and I welcomed it, letting it envelop me. I felt so full, light, happy, and I never wanted to let this feeling go.

"I might fuck up more than you do," I chuckled, nuzzling against his palm. "But I think we can learn together. And we still need to talk," I admonished, cracking a smile when I saw that Cheshire grin on his face.

"I know, but right now we need to get the fuck out of here before Ethan or, even worse, Gabriela, come barging in."

He stepped away from me, letting me bend down to pull on my boots, just as he pulled up his pants, buttoning them up. I straightened my shirt, trying to iron it on the spot, but there wasno way I'd be able to hide the wet spot he left behind after he feasted on my nipples.

And the bastard knew it, judging by the self-satisfied look on his face when he saw me trying to dry it up as he held my vest.

"Erase that smug smile, asshole," I chuckled, taking the vest from him and putting it on.

He shrugged, pulling me to him again. "It's not like they don't know what we were doing."

"I—"

"Adrian!" Ethan's voice boomed through the hallway, the panic in it making us break apart.

The footsteps announced their arrival seconds before Ethan's and Gabriela's faces came into focus. Both of them looked pale, equal parts pissed and frightened, and as if on a cue, Adrian moved me behind him, as if that could shield me from whatever news they brought with them.

"I hate to intrude," Ethan stated, just as Gabriela said, "Well, fucking finally." The glare Ethan had sent her way would've demolished a lesser woman, but Gabriela stood strong, ignoring the daggers he was throwing at her.

"As I was saying," Ethan gritted out, slowly moving his attention toward us. "I hate to intrude but?—"

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