Page 6 of The Pretty Psycho

That's how long Vega had been missing.

There were moments in my life when I thought my heart would break apart, but nothing compared to the moment when the roof of her dorm collapsed. I’d spent the last three days replaying all the words we had exchanged, all the little moments, all the stupid shit I did because I refused to admit that someone like her could mean this much to me.

It took me finding her in the forest, beaten and barely conscious, to realize I didn't want to live without her. It took me seeing Yolanda and learning that Vega never came out to realize I wanted her more than I've ever wanted anything.

My friends were mainly avoiding me and I understood why. If you have ever watched those documentaries where they captured wild animals just to transfer them to a safer place, then you could understand why they wanted to be as far away from me as possible. Unless they needed to talk to me or update me, their presence was scarce, and that's how I liked it.

I felt like a wild animal, caged, unable to do anything but wait and fucking wait, and I was so tired of sitting in my cozy little cabin, going over the mistakes I’d made. I wanted to be out there, searching for her, tearing this place apart, but after going through every single second of security footage and after tearing through the underground tunnels not once but twice, it was obvious to everyone around me—Vega wasn't here.

To make matters worse, we had no idea how she could have disappeared. Yolanda said that she wanted to leave, but after calming down, Yolanda left her in her room just one hour before the fire started, and none of the cameras caught her leaving the premises. There was nothing left of their dorm to try and search for clues.

Her room had completely burned down and we had no idea if she left of her own volition or if she was taken. Any other time I wouldn’t have been this concerned, but her previous injuries hadn’t healed yet, and my gut told me that the fire was no accident.

And so did the fire marshal that arrived early in the morning yesterday, after doing some preliminary checks.

So where the fuck was she?

We didn't have enough time together and I regretted trying to push her away instead of embracing her with my entire being, seeing that she was the one thing that could calm down the beast trying to claw its way out of my chest. Instead of labeling her as an enemy, I should've told her the truth. I should've told her that I knew who she was. I should’ve told her that her brother was looking for her for years.

I should've held her tighter, loved her more while I had the chance.

Now, I might never even see her again, and the fissures opening all over my heart only widened further every single timethat thought passed through my mind. Because I knew without a doubt that I didn't want to live in a world where she didn't exist.

Worst of all, I didn't want to live in a world where she wasn't mine.

Whether she liked it or not, this dark heart of mine belonged to her, and I would spend the rest of my life proving why she should stay. Why she should choose me, even with all my fuckups.

"Adrian." Dante's voice pulled me back from my reverie and staring at a spot on the wall opposite the bed where I last held her. "Can we talk?"

I could hear his footsteps as he slowly entered the cabin, and I understood why he walked so carefully. The day after the fire, Jax and Dante came into the cabin, looking for me, and I lost it.

I didn't want any of them in this sacred space I’d created for us. I didn't want them tarnishing the traces of her or erasing the pieces where our souls intertwined, damaging the past I held on to.

I looked up just as he walked closer to the bed, his eyes betraying the emotions everyone else felt—they were worried about me. They were worried about Vega as well, and I was pretty sure that Jax was somewhere with Yolanda, comforting her in one way or another.

She broke down when the roof collapsed, screaming like a banshee until Jax lifted her up and took her far away from the crime scene. I only stood there, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to do anything but watch as my future incinerated, stealing from me the one good thing I had in my life.

"What's up?" I asked first, hating how raspy my voice sounded. Jax and Dante had handled almost everything over the last three days, and I could never put into words how thankful I was to have them in my life.

Because I was a mess.

I was a complete and utter mess without her, and I knew what they were all thinking even without speaking it out loud—I wouldn't survive losing her. Not now, not ever. I needed her to ground me, to keep me going. I needed her smiles, her attitude, her need to fight me even when we both knew there were no winners in this game we were playing.

Both of us were losing, but what a perfect way to lose if it meant finding your person.

And she was my person. There was no one else in this entire godforsaken world that could understand me better than she could. I fought it for far too long, and now I was paying the ultimate price.

"I have news, and I need you to stay calm before you rush out of here and kill yourself in the process." I straightened up as Dante spoke calmly, as if he were approaching a wild animal. "It's not bad news. It also might be nothing, but?—"

"Tell me," I gritted out, ready to jump out of my skin. I wanted to listen to him, to stay put, but if it was anything to do with Vega we both knew I wouldn't be able to stay calm.

"First things first," he murmured, looking around while the lines around his eyes deepened, seeing the destruction in the rest of the cabin. "Arseniy should be here tomorrow morning." The lead weight only increased inside my chest, because I knew my best friend would want to know why all of this had happened, and I had no concrete answer.

It pissed me off more than I could even voice out, because I was usually the one with the plan. I was the coolheaded one, the one that led them all, the one that knew what the next ten steps taken should be even before anyone else started thinking. But all of my planning, all of my coolheadedness, flew out of the window where Vega was concerned.

Arseniy would be pissed, but he would need to deal with it, because I wasn't letting her go, even if she was his sister. Iunderstood him and why he wanted her safe, but none of them knew her. He had no idea what kind of person she was, and I did. I understood her better than she maybe understood herself.

And I needed her to survive whatever had happened because I wouldn't survive without her.

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