Page 69 of The Pretty Psycho

"I said," I jumped from the sink and tried pushing past her toward the door, "I don't want to talk."

"Oh, you will." She pushed me back, surprising me beyond measure. "You're going to fucking listen, Vega, even if it's the last thing you do. And I swear to God, if you try to leave, I'll find a way to torture you. Somehow. There must be something you're not immune to."

My eyes widened, shocked by this version of Yolanda that I hadn't had a chance to see before.

"Now, I'm still pretty much hungover and having to deal with this shit is not something I had foreseen when I woke up this morning, but alas, we're here. So, you’re going to listen." She leaned against the door, her eyes glaring, filled with so much anger.

She was fully fucking pissed off.

"Why are you so angry with me?" I asked, unable to understand what was happening.

"Because you're a motherfucking idiot, okay? Because you have a man who would die for you, and what do you do, Vega? You run and run and fucking run. Isn't it tiring constantly running, dude? Isn't it tiring constantly trying to escape the things that do not suit your agenda?"

"Fuck. You," I seethed. She had no idea what it was like. She had no idea what it was like living inside the head that always whispered those dark thoughts, making me think I would never amount to anything. "You've no idea what you're talking about."

"You think!" she blasted, her eyes turning wild. "Do you really think you're the only one who was dealt a shitty hand in life, huh? Do you really fucking think that your past gives you an excuse to fuck up your entire future?" I… I had no idea. Fucking fuck.

I had no idea.

"You don't know anything," I mumbled. "And you don't get to talk to me about past fuckups when you haven't lived my life."

"No," she shook her head, "I haven't lived your life. But I have lived mine. I have been part of a family that didn't want me because my biological mother was not my father's wife." Holy shit. "I have been pushed around, molded to fit their image, spat at, cursed, beaten up, and fucked over in ways that you could never imagine." She was livid now, her anger erupting out of her with each word. "Our pasts might be different, but make no mistake, Vega—we're more similar than you might imagine. I might not be a professional assassin, and maybe I haven't been tasked with the things you were, but my burden is not lesser than yours just because you think you get the right to pity yourself every step of the way!"

Holy mother fuck.

Was that what I was doing? Moaning about my fucked-up life while thinking that I was this powerful person.

"Yolanda—"

"Na-uh, girl. Sit the fuck down and listen to me, because it is obvious that your stubborn ass needs to hear things this way." I obliged immediately, almost scared of her when she was like this.

In all the time I’d known her, which granted, wasn't as long as it sometimes felt, she had never reacted like this. Not to anything.

"Now." She took a deep breath, calming herself down. "I'd heard what happened earlier today." The tears automatically rushed to my eyes, threatening to spill simply because I could still see that image of Adrian and the girl in an embrace. "And I'm here to tell you that you're a motherfucking idiot."

"W-What?" I stammered.

"You're an idiot. For someone so smart, you can sometimes be so fucking stupid."

"I'm not stupid," I bit out. "He was kissing her."

"Was he?" She arched her eyebrow, her blonde hair flying around as she kept pacing from the left to right, across the bathroom. "Or was that what you wanted to believe, because it's easier leaving him if you tell yourself he's someone who would cheat on you or he's someone who doesn't care."

"That's not?—"

"No!" she screamed. "I am talking now and you're listening, and so help me God, do not fucking interrupt me."

I gulped audibly, unable to take my eyes off her. Who was this and what happened to soft and sweet Yolanda? Did I piss her off that much that she had to resort to this?

"The truth is, Vega, that you're so terrified of happiness you would do anything to keep living in the dark." Her words felt like punches straight to the center of my body, because even asI started shaking my head, trying to deny it, deep down I knew she was right. "You can deny it, shake your head, do whatever the fuck you want, but you are terrified of being happy. Because being happy means it could be taken away from you at any moment, especially in this fucked-up world we're living in, so instead of embracing it, instead of fighting for it, you're pushing it away, because you are so used to the darkness that it feels like your best fucking friend now instead of something you should fear."

"No," I mumbled, feeling my tears rolling down. "That's not… That's not true."

"Oh, but it is," she laughed darkly. "You know how I know? Because we're all doing the same thing! It doesn't matter what kind of fucked-up shit we went through, we're all so comfortable in the darkness that we would do anything to keep on drowning in that black tar instead of trying to push out and breathe that clear air. You." She pointed at me. "You have a guy who would literally die for you. You have a guy who would let you go if that made you happy, even if it meant complete heartbreak for him."

"Stop," I murmured. "Please, stop."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" she spat out. "I saw the surveillance footage, Vega. He was fucking pushing her away before you pulled her off of him. He pushed her and tried explaining to you, but what did you do? You ran off like your ass was on fire."

---