Page 11 of Ruthless Regret

Which is one of the reasons I needed Ashley. Ifsheacted like she believed me—the person who shouted the loudest aboutmy guilt—then others would probably fall into line. But if I tell my dad that, then he’ll figure out why I married her … and then he’ll tell my mom. And it doesn’t matter how old I am, that’s a conversation Idon’twant to have with her.

“You need to come home and let us help you. You’ve come out of a restricted environment and into a world that has changed a lot in fourteen years. I’m surprised nothing was arranged for you to take some time to acclimate to your new surroundings. You need to slow down and take some time to adjust.”

“Adjust to what?” I’m being purposely awkward, I know that. But I can’t help myself.

My dad thinks he knows how I feel, what I need, and he’s treating me the same way he did when I announced I was buying my first house, and moving in with Jason and Louisa. But I’m not that kid anymore. I haven’t been that kid for a long time.

“Look, can we not do this right now? I just need to get the glass replaced in two doors.”

I don’t want to discuss every move I’ve made since my release. Things have become complicated, especially my feelings about Ashley. I need time to figure out what my next step is.

His sigh is heavy. “I’ll arrange the window replacements for you.”

“There’s no need.”

“I know you want to prove to the world that you don’t need anyone, Zain. But please, let me do this for you.”

There’s a light knock on the door at my back, and I sit up so I can look around. One of the deputies is standing in the doorway.

“I’ve got to go. Let me know when they’re coming out to do the fix.”

“I’ll make some calls and arrange to meet them at both houses.”

I rub a hand over my face. “Dad—” I know what he’s trying to do. He wants to save me from dealing with anyone who might treat me like a man who murdered two people.

“Go and do what you need to do. We’ll talk later.” He hangs up.

Dropping my cell onto the cushion beside me, I stand up. “Deputy.”

“We’ve searched the entire area. Apart from one footprint, which may or may not be the suspect, we haven’t been able to find anything outside. We’ve taken a swab of the blood from the kitchen, and sent that to be analyzed. It might take a couple of days. We’ll let you know as soon as we have any news.”

I nod.

“The sheriff has arranged for someone to check the area every couple of hours, but we don’t think whoever it was will try anything else. Not after being disturbed. If youdosee or hear anything out of the ordinary, call the station.”

His words are delivered in a flat tone, one which tells me everything I need to know about his opinion of me. He’s one of those who still believes I killed my friends. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve spent almost half my life being judged for a crime I didn’t commit, a few more months won’t make any difference.

“Thank you.” I follow him through the house and out the front door.

“CSI has done all they can in the kitchen, so you are okay to clean up the glass and mess if you want to.” He walks down the steps to the car, where his partner is already waiting. They’re gone less than a minute later, and I’m left alone.

I check the time. Four fifty-five. I should drive over to Esme Trumont’s place and talk to Ashley.

I need to explain things. First, by admitting that I had no idea that someone was going to attack her.

The hurt on her face when she left is imprinted into my mind. I need to fix it. Make it right.

I just don’t know where to begin.

CHAPTER SIX

ASHLEY

The wallsof the bedroom are closing in on me, suffocating me, but I can’t bring myself to reach out and open the door, to go back downstairs and face my friends.

I have to. Ineedto …

But not until I’ve gotten my emotions under control. Right now, all it will take is one look, one word, to crack the precarious hold I have on everything.

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