Page 83 of Ruthless Regret

“Alright. Thanks.”

“Please be careful. Whatever you’re doing, don’t let it consume you. You’re free now. But you’re still acting like you’re a prisoner.”

She means well, I know that, so I bite back the urge to snap at her. Instead, I end the call, and toss my cell onto the armchair. Turning, I look at Ashley.

She’s been quiet throughout the conversation, perched on the edge of the couch.

“What did she say?”

I shake my head. “It’s not as simple as we hoped it would be. Accessing repressed memories isn’t straightforward, and there are risks involved.”

“What kind of risks?”

“False memories for one. Apparently, trying to force memories to surface has the potential to create new ones.”

She frowns as she digests my words. “Where does that leave us?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I want to watch the interviews again.”

My gaze snaps up to meet hers. “You want to dowhat?”

Her throat moves as she swallows. “When I watched them … when youforcedme to watch them, I still very much believed you killed my brother. I was in a panic over being in the room where he died. I want to watch them again, now that my head is clearer.”

Her tone is so matter of fact as she talks about how I forced her to spend the night in the room where her brother was murdered.

Fuck.

I should apologize for what I did to her, but I can’t. I did what I thought I had to do. What I thought was the right thing to do. I can’t change it.

“Maybe it’ll help knock the memories loose.”

I can’t argue with her reasoning, so I don’t even bother trying. She’s right, and really it’s the only thing we’ve got right now.

“The laptop is in the kitchen.”

She gets to her feet, and we walk through to the kitchen in silence. I set up the laptop, tap around until I find the interviews, and then look at her.

“Are you sure about this?”

She nods, and takes the seat in front of the screen. “I think it’s important. I didn’t want to see it when you last showed me.” Her head turns, and she gives me a shaky smile. “I don’t think you were in the right state of mind to take in most of what was said either. So, why don’t you watch them as well?”

She’s not wrong. I was angry, I stillamangry. But it’s not the same now. Then, I was angry withher, and I only paid attentionto the parts that justified my anger. Now? Now, I know there’s more to the story.

I drag out another chair and sit beside her.

“Okay. Let’s see what we can find.”

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

ASHLEY

I takea deep breath to steady my nerves as Zain clicks play on the video. Even though I’ve seen it before, my memory of it is overshadowed by the fear and panic I was feeling. The fear is still there, but it’s different now. It’s not a fear of Zain anymore, it’s a fear of what we might find.

When my younger self appears on the screen, I’m struck by how raw and vulnerable I look. Tears are streaming down my face, my voice cracking with every word. But although it’s painful to watch, I force myself to do it.

"God," I whisper, "I was in such a state."

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