Page 72 of Ruthless Regret

“What?”

She doesn’t answer straight away. She shifts on the bed, sheets rustling.

“Don’t … I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice is small, but the vulnerability in it hits me like a punch to the stomach.

I turn slowly. The raw fear etched onto her face is mixed with something else, something more fragile. She looks away, lashes dropping to hide her eyes, hiding how much her dream shook her.

For a moment, I just stand there, watching her. Seeing her like this—vulnerable, afraid—something shifts inside me. I take a step deeper into the room, then another, until I’m standing by the bed again. Her eyes lift to meet mine, full of questions, full of uncertainty.

“How can you stand it?” she whispers.

“Stand what?”

“Living with what you saw. How do you sleep without seeing it over and over?”

I can’t hold in a flinch. I know what she’s talking about, and I wasn’t ready for that question, I wasn't expecting her to ask.

“How can you stand it?” she repeats.

I don’t know how to answer her. Ican’tanswer her. So I opt for something simple. A non-answer.

“I don’t sleep much.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

ASHLEY

I don’t knowwhy I ask that question. Maybe it’s the nightmare still gripping me, or maybe it’s because I’m too exhausted to keep up the fight. But when I ask how he lives with what he saw, it’s because at that moment Ineedto know. I need to understand how he’s carried it without letting it break him.

His reaction is subtle, a flicker in his eyes, a tightening of his jaw. I don’t think he’s going to answer me, but then he does, and his voice is rough, like the admission is forced out of him.

“I don’t sleep much.”

That’s it. No further explanation. It’s the simplest answer in the world. It’s the most complicated answer in the world.

I drag in a shaky breath, the residual effects of the nightmare still lingering. Zain just stands there. His presence is steady, yet different. The hostility that’s been there since our first meeting has gone, replaced by a quiet understanding. Maybe he knows what it’s like to wake up choking on your own fear.

“I had nightmares after it first happened, but once I moved away … got out of town … they stopped,” I admit quietly, needing to fill the silence.

He doesn’t react, and his silence makes it easier to keep talking. His stillness is weirdly comforting, grounding me in a way I wasn’t expecting.

“I thought they’d gone for good. I thought I knew the truth.” I risk a glance at him. “You were locked away, and I didn’t have to think about it anymore. I could finally breathe.” The words catch in my throat. “But then … everything changed. And the nightmares came back.”

I don’t have to explain whateverythingis. He knows. He was released. He came back to town. He forced me to marry him … and I discovered he wasn’t the villain …Iwas.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.” My voice wobbles.

His eyes darken, but he doesn’t move.

“How do you deal with it? When everything has been turned upside down?”

I don’t expect an answer. Not really. But I need to say it out loud, even if it doesn’t make any sense.

“You don’t.” His voice is rough. “You just learn how to survive.”

I meet his gaze again, and for the first time, I don’t see the cold, controlled, man who forced me to marry him. I see someone else. Someone who’s still haunted by the past. Someone who’s been carrying the weight of everything he’s lived through … everythingIput him through … alone.

“I guess we’ll both have to figure out how to deal with it.” I’m talking to myself more than him.

---