Page 63 of Ruthless Regret

“Ash?” Scott’s voice breaks through my thoughts.

I blink and look at him. He’s watching me with a mix of concern and frustration.

“You can’t seriously be considering going along with this.” His voice is sharper than I’ve ever heard it. “He’s manipulating you. You don’towehim anything.”

I want to tell him he’s wrong, that I have to do this for myself, not for Zain. But I’m not sure if that’s true. I feel like I’m caught in something much bigger than any of us can grasp, and I need to know what really happened, but that’s not all it is. I saw something in Zain’s eyes, something he hid quickly, but it was there … just for a second.

Pain. Despair.Fear.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe Idohold the missing piece.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. But I need time to think.”

“Think about what? He’s dangerous. He’s been out of prison for a week, and he’s already dragged you into danger. Are you sure he’s innocent? You should stay far away from him.”

“You don’t understand.”

The events from Whitstone, the nightmares, the way my thoughts are tangled—it’s too hard to explain.

Karla walks over to me. “You don’t need to figure it out right now. We have all day.”

“Yeah, maybe we should all take a step back for a second.” Jessa throws a hard look at Scott, then turns to me. “What’s this about your memory?”

“I think I blocked some things out. I’ve always had nightmares, but put it down to what I saw.” I meet Jessa’s eyes. “Now I wonder if Zain is right, and I’m repressing something. Something important, and it’s trying to come out in my dreams.”

Karla squeezes my arm gently. “You’ve been through enough hell, are you sure this is the best way to deal with it?”

“I don’t know.”

“You need to stay away from him.” Scott’s voice is harsh. “Whatever he’s saying, it’s bullshit. This is all about him. He’snot interested in your safety. He’s using you to get what he wants. He’s an ex-convict. He’s dangerous.”

There’s no denying that. Zainisdangerous. His obsession with revenge, with finding out the truth, is terrifying. But if there’s even the slightest chance that he’s right, if my memories do hold some key, then how can I just walk away?

“It’s not that simple. You don’t understand. Your brother isn’t the one who was murdered. And you’re not the one who put an innocent man in prison.”

“So, you’re going to bow to his demands then? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No!” I snap, surprising myself. “I’m going to make the decision that’s best for me.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

ZAIN

I don’t knowwho is more shocked by the fact I don’t push for an answer right there—me or Peter. But a little voice inside my head cautions me away from trying to force her to do what I want. Forcing her won’t work anymore. I know that. I’velearnedthat pushing her will just make her dig her heels in, make her less likely to do what I want.

Ashley is not the pushover I thought she’d be when I first set out to put my plan into action. She’s so much …more.

I give a mental shake of my head.

That’s not something you should be thinking about. Keep your head in the game. You want to make sure your name is well and truly cleared. You want to prove that it wasn’t just a technicality that got you out of prison. You need everyone to know that you didn’t murder your best friend. Ashley has a part to play in that … just not in the way you originally envisioned.

You need her to come back to Whitstone with you. You need her to try and remember everything she saw that night.

You don’t need to think about how she felt, how she tasted, how she sounded.

You remember the part about not thinking about that?

I turn my head so I can look out of the window, an attempt to distract my thoughts from the path they were strolling down. Peter says something about next steps, and I nod, not really listening.

---