Page 36 of Ruthless Regret

“Or you could come into work and get your job back.” Jessa sets her mug down. “Before you say anything, it’s only been a couple of days. There’s no way they’ll have filled your position yet.”

“I don’t want to.”

“The longer you leave it, the less chance there is of them canceling your resignation.”

“Idon’twant to go back.”

“You spent less than a week back in Whitstone, and now you’re throwing away everything you’ve worked for? You have a good job. What’s the point in giving up on that?”

“Because it’s not what I want!” My shouted words hang in the air, while my two friends stare at me with matching expressions of shock.

“It’s not what I want,” I repeat in a quieter voice.

“You’ve been through some pretty traumatic things over the last couple of days,” Karla’s voice is gentle. “Maybe you shouldn’t rush into making any decisions. Give yourself some time to work through everything first.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Ash—”

“I said no. I didn’t spend four years at college to end up at a shitty administration job with no room for growth.”

“You were fine with thatshittyjob last week,” Jessa snaps.

“And now I’m not.” I hold her gaze. A week ago, I’d have backed down, agreed with her, and stayed quiet. But last week was a thousand years ago, and I’m not the same person anymore.

She stands up and crosses the floor to rinse her mug, then sets it down on the drainer.

“Are you ready to go, Karla? We’re going to be late.” She glances over at me. “You know where we are if you need anything.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Karla sighs. “Call me once you have your new cell phone so I have your number. Andbe careful. Just because you’re not in Whitstone anymore, it doesn’t mean you might not be in danger.” She reaches across the table and squeezes my fingers. “You know we’re just worried about you, don’t you?”

“I know.” I stay in the kitchen while they leave.

The door slams a second or two later, and then opens again. Jessa comes through the door like a whirlwind, pulls me to my feet and hugs me.

“I’m sorry. But Karla is right. We’re just worried. You’re acting so strangely.”

“I’m working through it.” I hug her back.

“Call me as well, once you have your new cell. Check in throughout the day. And stay aware. If you see something weird, come home and lock the doors. If you can’t do that, stay somewhere public and busy and call us. We’ll come and get you.”

“I will. I promise.”

She rushes away, and the door slams again. For the first time in days, I’m completely alone. No one hovering over me, no one pushing me to talk, no one demanding my attention or forcing me to make decisions. Just me, and my thoughts.

I take my time washing and drying the mugs, my hands moving on autopilot. My mind is elsewhere, stuck on Jessa’s words.

You’re acting so strangely.

Of course I’m acting strangely. How else would I act after everything that’s happened?

Jessa and Karla mean well, Iknowthat. But they don’t understand. How can they? They weren’t dragged into the nightmare I’ve spent the last five days living through, and they’ve never gone head-to-head with someone like Zain.

Zain.

I can’t stop thinking about him, no matter how hard I try. He’s lingering constantly in the back of my mind. And it’s not just thoughts of his anger, his ruthless behavior. It’severything. The look in his eyes, the way his voice softened when he wasn’t playing his games of control, the way he felt when we?—

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