Page 27 of Ruthless Regret

“I think it’s too late for that. She’s done. And you should be too. What happened to you was awful, but you can’t get that time back. You need to look at the future, instead of the past.”

She’s right. I know she is. No apology is going to undo what I’ve done to Ashley. But I also can’t let the past go. I can’t … not until I have answers.

Esme steps back, her voice calm but firm. “Leave her alone, Zain. She deserves better than what you’ve been putting her through.”

Before I can respond, she closes the door on me, leaving me standing there, staring at it.

What’s my next step? What do I do now?

While I’m unlocking the car, and considering my options, my cell buzzes. I slide into the driver’s seat, and connect the call, without looking at the caller ID.

“What?”

There’s a brief silence before Rook’s voice comes through the speaker. “What’s this I’m hearing about the house burning down?”

“It hasn’t burned down.” I rub my eyes with one hand. “There’s some damage to the entrance hall and front door.”

“But itwason fire?” he presses.

“Yeah.”

Rook exhales sharply. “Zain, getting out of prison was supposed to be a fresh start. What’s going on?”

I ignore his question. I don’t have the energy to get into this right now. “How doyouknow the house was on fire? It was only an hour ago.”

“Knight.” His voice is clipped. “He’s monitoring everything coming out of Whitstone, including emergency services communications.”

“Of course he is.” My voice is dry. Knight is always one step ahead of everything.

“You need to take a step back. You’ve been out of control since the moment you got out. It’s time to slow down and think carefully about what you’re doing.”

“Yeah, I know.” I sigh. Exhaustion is settling in, pulling at the edges of my mind. I haven’t slept properly in so long, and everything is spiraling out of control faster than I can keep up.

“Knight is already looking into the fire. Do you know how it started?”

I laugh. “Yeah. I saw someone there.” I close my eyes.

“Okay, I’ll tell him to dig. Do you have a description?”

“Of course I fucking don’t. McFadden came out with the fire department. Said he’ll investigate it.”

“Maybe you should go visit him, see what his action plan is. But not tonight. You’re not in the right headspace.”

I open my mouth to argue, but he’s right. My mind is a mess, and if I talk to anyone tonight, I’m only going to make things worse.

“Go somewhere quiet. Lie low, leave it with Knight. Let’s see if we can get some answers.”

I sigh, staring out of the window.

“Go to your parents' place. Don’t be alone right now.”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

After I hang up, I sit there for a moment. The street is quiet, a far cry from the fucking mess going on in my head.

Rook is right, I do need to speak to McFadden again, but not now. He probably won’t see me anyway, not at this hour.

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