Page 75 of Down My Chimney

I pulled two hangers out from the back, one draped with a fuzzy red onesie covered in llamas wearing Santa hats, the other holding a blue onesie decorated with pugs tangled in strings of Christmas lights.

“Oh my God, you were serious,” he said, clapping his hands together.

“I would never joke about something as sacred as Christmas pajamas. Now, which ones do you want?”

“Pugs, please.” Henry held out his hand. “Red isn’t my color.”

“Everything is your color.” I brushed a kiss across his lips and handed him the onesie. “But I think I like you naked best of all.”

“These are ridiculous,” he said five minutes later when we were both dressed. His onesie was a little baggy on him, but he still looked adorable. And fuckable. There was no way someone dressed in blue flannel footie pajamas should be able to look sexy, and yet, he managed it.

“They’re hot,” I corrected him, adjusting myself in my own onesie. I was half-hard already.

“I guess they’re no more embarrassing than my old Spiderman ones,” he said.

“They’re definitely less embarrassing than your old Spiderman ones, if only because these actually cover all of you. I doubt you’d be able to get more than one leg in the old ones, which would—” I paused, cocking my head to the side. “You know, that might not be so bad, after all.”

Henry laughed and twisted around, looking at the button flap on his butt. “Don’t worry, these still allow for easy access.”

“Oh, you’d better believe I’ve taken note of that.” I smacked his ass lightly. “Now, how do we do this?”

“How do you unbutton my butt-flap and fuck me?” he asked innocently. “Because I thought that was pretty self-explanatory.”

“Smartass.” I sat down on the bed and pulled him into my lap. “I meant how do we do the video?”

“Hmm.” Henry glanced around the bed. “Okay, give me one second to set the scene.”

He slid off my lap and began moving the sheets around, straightening them in some places, rumpling them in others. He tossed the washcloth from last night aside, flipped the pillows over, and moved the curtainsjust sobefore lying down and patting the space next to him. I moved to spoon him, but he put a hand on my chest.

“No, you lie on your back first. That way you can keep the camera on you without having me in the shot yet. Then, when you’re ready, you turn it onto me and act like you’re waking me up.”

I followed his instructions as he turned onto his side and closed his eyes, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. His lips parted slightly, and I had to fight the urge to kiss him right then. Instead, I pulled my camera up, flipped the lens around, and set it to video. Suddenly, my heart was pounding.

“Action,” he whispered into the pillow, and I laughed, then had to school my face to stillness before pressingrecord.

“Hey guys,” I said, keeping my voice soft as I smiled up at the camera. “It’s been a while since I’ve done a video, but I figured, it’s almost Christmas, and I wanted to say how grateful I am for all your support this year. I try to keep things pretty upbeat on here, but the truth is, the past twelve months have been the craziest year of my life.”

I swallowed. I hadn’t told Henry exactly what I was going to say, and I could feel how still he’d gone, just out of frame.

“In some ways, it’s also been the hardest year of my life,” I said. “I had a lot of growing up to do. The thing is, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to be perfect. Trying to be this guy I had in my head—the guy I thought I should be—instead of the person I really am. I felt like I couldn’t let anyone know I was struggling, or no one would like me anymore.”

I took a deep breath. “Like, for instance, you guys have seen some pictures of my friend Marika, but what you don’t know is that she’s actually my tutor, and that her help has been what’s gotten me through school. I felt like I couldn’t let anyone know how hard my classes were for me. Like you’d all think I was just a dumb jock, some idiot who wasn’t worth your time. I spent a lot of time wondering if people in my life actually liked me. Because the truth was, I didn’t like myself very much, so I couldn’t understand why anyone else would either.”

I bit my lip. “I was convinced that if people ever saw who I really was, they’d hate me. But the problem is, that way of thinking didn’t just hurt me. It also hurt the people I loved. Those fears made me push away the people—the person—who meant the most to me.”

A lump rose in my throat, and Henry slid his leg over in bed, hooking it around my ankle. I inhaled, counted to three, and waited until I was sure I could talk again before I continued.

“But it’s Christmas,” I said, my voice still a little raw. “And I wanted to introduce you guys to that person. The person who I love more than anyone in the world. The person whose love makes me better.”

I rolled onto my side, bringing the camera with me so it captured Henry’s face on the pillow as well as mine. His eyes were still closed. My heart beat wildly against my ribcage.

“This is Henry,” I said. “My boyfriend. And the love of my life.”

I leaned in and kissed him gently. It was a struggle not to go further, not to kiss him deeper, but I did want to keep this fairly tame. When I pulled back, he opened his eyes and smiled at me.

“Merry Christmas,” I whispered.

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered back.

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