Page 58 of Down My Chimney

“Oh.” I sighed with relief. Of course. That was all he meant. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe.”

I tried to smile, but it was hard. I could imagine Henry’s response perfectly, without needing to talk to him at all.

About fucking time, asshole. You couldn’t have done this a year ago? You couldn’t have figured this out sooner, without ruining everything?

“You know what we need?” my mom said into the silence. “Brain food. It’s impossible to think on an empty stomach.”

My dad nodded. “I’ll whip up some smoothies.”

“And I’ll make more coffee.” She patted my hand. “Then we’ll figure this out together.”

* * *

In the end, though, it was Matty who figured it out.

On Saturday, the doorbell rang, and my mom called out, “Blake, sweetie, it’s for you!”

Who the hell would just drop by the house looking for me? Without even texting first? It had to be someone my mom had met before, someone she wasn’t surprised to see.

My stomach turned a somersault. It wasn’t—itcouldn’tbe Henry, right? He wasn’t supposed to come back for another two weeks—not that I was crossing off the days on a mental calendar or anything. But that didn’t stop me from jumping off my bed and bounding to the front door.

I tried not to look too disappointed when I saw that it was Matty.

“Oh.” I made myself smile. “Uh, hey. What’s up?”

“Hey.” Matty scratched the back of his head, like even he wasn’t sure what he was doing there. “Can I, uh, come in?”

“Um. Sure.”

I stepped back, letting him in and closing the door behind him. Then we stared at each other. I felt like I should apologize for how I’d left things on Wednesday, but I didn’t know where to start.

“Did you wanna talk about something?” I asked finally.

He scratched the nape of his neck again and looked around my house. “Are your parents here?”

“I mean, somewhere.” I shrugged. My mom had answered the door, after all.

“Could we maybe go somewhere a little more…”

“Oh!” Comprehension dawned, only to flee again a moment later. What could he need to talk about that was so sensitive, we had to do it in private? “Sure, yeah.”

I looked around the house the way he had a few seconds ago. I felt weird, bringing him into my bedroom. Not that I hadn’t had guy friends there before. But these days, it felt like that was just for Henry.

“Wanna go outside?” I jerked my thumb towards the back of the house.

Matty nodded and followed me out to the backyard.

I sat in one of the Adirondack chairs that ringed the fire pit on our patio, and he sat in one on the far side of the circle. I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He just stared down at his hands and flexed his fingers over and over again.

I cleared my throat. “So did you—”

“Do you like dudes?” he asked, looking up suddenly.

My jaw dropped approximately a foot, but that was nothing compared to my stomach, which was currently hurtling towards the earth’s molten core. Mattyknew?

I stared at him. He stared back. Waiting for me to answer, probably, but I was speechless. I kept waiting for him to make a joke about it, to tell me he was just kidding. Or to say that he wasn’t kidding, but hewasgrossed out, and was here to tell me not to come back to the apartment.

But he didn’t. He didn’t look disgusted, or even hostile. Just curious.

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