Page 54 of Down My Chimney

It was great if you were a celebrity, but it did tend to keep your PR people busy.

Honestly, I would rather have stayed at school. Finals were coming up soon, and if I had the apartment to myself, I could get work done there, instead of trying to pick the most obscure corner of the library and hoping no one noticed me.

My post clarifying that Marika and I weren’t dating seemed to have stopped people harassing her, but it had the unintended consequence of announcing to the world that I was single. I still couldn’t believe anyone cared, but I’d lost count of the number of girls who had casually stopped by my table in the library, asking if they could borrow a phone charger and then hanging around to chat.

I supposed I couldn’t blame them. I still wasn’t out and Iwastechnically single. But I didn’t feel single. My heart was still full of Henry.

My parents were making me come home, though. They kept telling me it had been so long since they’d seen me, even though they’d come to one of my home games two weeks ago. I was pretty sure they just wanted to keep an eye on me and make sure I was really doing my work. Which Iwas, even though I hated it.

All of which was why I was still at the apartment Wednesday morning, trying to outline a paper in the living room when Taylor stuck his head in from the hallway.

“Yo, have you seen my deodorant?”

“Do you evenusedeodorant?” Matty asked, taking an ostentatious sniff as he passed by on his way to the kitchen.

“Fuck off.” Taylor shoved him against an armchair. “At least I try. When was the last time you showered?”

“This morning, when he was jerking off,” Dev said, wandering down the hall with a textbook in his hands.

“I don’t jerk off in the shower,” Matty grumbled, pulling a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Oh really?” Dev arched an eyebrow. “So all those white droplets on the tiles were just…”

“Conditioner, bro.” Matty shook his golden curls back and forth. “It takes effort to look this effortless.”

“Homo,” Taylor said with a snort.

Matty stuck his middle finger up. “Fuck you.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Taylor smirked, then turned back to me. “You’re sure you haven’t seen it?”

I ran a hand down my face. It was impossible to get anything done around here. At least the girls at the library weren’t this loud. Or blatantly homophobic.

“No, I haven’t seen your deodorant. Why would it even be out here anyway?”

“Because I put it on while I was watching the news this morning.”

“You don’t watch the fucking news,” Matty said. “You were watchingThe View.”

Dev snickered. “Speaking of homosexual…”

“I was watching the news,” Taylor repeated, his cheeks a little pink. “I was just checking the other channels while the commercials were on.”

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself,” Dev said, wiggling his eyebrows.

I wanted to break something. Their jokes weren’t even that funny, and they were only making them because it had never crossed their minds that one of the people in this room could be gay.

Which was worse, I wondered. To say shit like that in public, not caring who you offended? Or to know that it was wrong, but keep making the jokes in private, where you thought it was safe?

Neither. The actual worst was what I was doing. Not making the jokes, but not speaking up either. Not sticking up for myself, or for Henry, or for anyone.

I slammed my laptop shut and strode across the room.

“What’s wrong with you?” Matty asked.

I didn’t answer. I’d just get my backpack and go to the library after all. If I stayed here any longer, I’d snap.

“What the fuck, man?” Taylor said. “You were sitting on it?”

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