Page 20 of Down My Chimney

“Ihavea summer job. But not enough to pay for this.”

“Couldn’t you get a different one?”

Why was he pushing so hard? I wanted to squirm and settled for grabbing a pillow and hugging it to my chest with my free hand. Blake was still holding the other one.

“I’d have to leave the first week of August,” I told him. “So that would be a little difficult. And anyway, I’d still have to apply, and there’s no guarantee I’d even get in.”

“But you could at least try, couldn’t you?” Blake cocked his head to the side. “You know, if it’s a money thing, I bet my parents would be happy to have some extra help. I know they pay pretty well.”

My jaw dropped. “Did they put you up to this?”

“What do you mean? Did my parents—why would they even know about it?”

He looked genuinely confused, and I felt dumb for thinking he would lie to me, and even dumber because now I had to explain something I’d never planned on telling him. Which possibly mademethe liar, which made me feel even squirmier.

“They already offered me a job,” I said, squeezing the pillow tighter. “I ran into them the other day, when I was talking with my advisor about the program, and they literally said the exact same thing as you.”

“Are you serious?” Blake looked incredulous, then laughed. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. That very much sounds like something they would do.” He laced our fingers together again. “But you don’t want to do it?”

I did squirm that time. It started out as a shrug, but became a full-body shiver as it moved through me.

“I don’t want to be a charity case.”

“Oh my God, Henry. That’s not what you would be.”

“If they’re only giving me the job because they like me and know I need money? When I’m not remotely qualified?”

“What college student is ever qualified for any job? Anyway, it’s not charity if you’re actually helping them.”

“It’s at least nepotism.”

“It’s not like they’re making you executive vice president,” he said drily. “It would be a summer job. Just a few months. I don’t think that makes you a moral failure.”

“Yeah, well maybe I don’t want to do it!” I pulled my hand free and hugged my other arm around the pillow.

Blake looked taken aback. “Why not?”

Ugh. I hated myself for getting upset. Now I had to explain the issue I’d really wanted to avoid. It made me look pathetic.

“Henry?” He sounded worried. “Henry, what’s wrong?”

“Have you considered the fact that if I do this program, I’ll be gone for four months?” I asked quietly.

“Henry—” he said again, but I rushed on.

“It’s hard enough seeing each other now. I’m not trying to complain or anything. But we only see each other once a month, and this would be four times as long.”

“Well, yeah. That part would suck,” Blake said. “But we could still talk. And we’re pretty much experts at video sex by now. And maybe I could even visit?”

“In the middle of your soccer season? How would you even explain that to people?” I asked. “You’re flying overseas just to see a casual friend of the family?”

Blake flinched, and I regretted saying it like that. I’d sounded more bitter than I meant to.

“I’m sure we could figure it out,” he said after a moment. “I just don’t want you to miss out on something because of me.”

“It wouldn’t be because of you,” I protested, and then contradicted myself by adding, “It’s just…what if you don’t like me anymore when I get back?”

“That’s not going to happen. That couldneverhappen.”

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