Page 13 of Down My Chimney

“I have thought about it,” I explained. “But it just doesn’t make sense. She wants me to apply for this program next fall, but it would totally mess up my schedule, and it’s not smart from a financial perspective either.”

There was another reason I was reluctant to apply. But if I wasn’t comfortable explaining to Noreen that I didn’t want to be away from mynot-boyfriendfor an entire semester, I certainly wasn’t going to explain that to my not-boyfriend’s parents.

Josué frowned. “Do you want to do it, though?”

“It doesn’t matter, honestly. I’m sure I wouldn’t even get in. They get tons of applications, and only take fifteen students per semester.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Josué said. “I asked if youwantto do it.”

I tried not to grimace. I appreciated how much they cared. I did. But it kind of sucked to keep talking about the program like it was an actual possibility when I knew it wasn’t.

“I mean, maybe?” I held my hands out helplessly, then let them fall. “But travel costs and lodging, plus the fees you pay to enroll in three different foreign universities over the course of one semester, and all the paperwork—it ends up costing almost twice what a normal semester would for me. And I wouldn’t be able to work while I was there. Not work-study, not even my tutoring gigs, with all the time zones and schedule changes.”

“What if you could make the money you needed ahead of time?” Joanna asked. “Would that change things?”

“Oh!” Josué looked at his wife. “I like it.”

“Like what?” I asked, not following.

Something about living and working together seemed to have given Blake’s parents the ability to communicate telepathically in a way my parents never could.

“You could work for us!” Joanna said. “This summer. And when you got back, too, if you wanted. I’m sure we pay better than your work-study jobs. And we can pay better than tutoring, too, if you just tell us what your rates are.”

I winced. The fact that the Salazars were better off than my family wasn’t something I thought about consciously, most of the time, but I was always kind of aware of it in the back of my mind. It was why Blake could afford the tuition at our private high school, while I’d been there on an academic scholarship. It was why his family lived in such a nice house. Why they had a cabin in Mammoth that they hardly ever used.

It didn’t bother me. It was just how life was. But the thought of them justgivingme money? Money my own parents didn’t have? That felt really weird.

“That’s very kind of you,” I said. “But you don’t have to make up a job just to help me out.”

“We’re not making anything up,” Josué said.

“We can always use the extra help,” Joanna agreed. “And with Blake so busy these days, it’s not like we can ask him anymore.”

My stomach clenched. That was the other problem. The Blake of it all. Would Joanna and Josué still be offering me a job, if they knew what we were doing?

They were pretty liberal, but they were technically still Catholic, even if only on Christmas and Easter. It was one thing for them to support gay rights in general. It was another thing entirely to support my right to sleep with their son.

“I don’t even know anything about what you do,” I said, stalling while I tried to think of a more gracious way to say no. “I’m sure there are more qualified people you could hire.”

“But how are you ever going to become qualified if you don’t get some experience?” Josué asked.

Joanna nodded sagely. “Everyone has to start somewhere.”

“I appreciate it. Really, I do—”

“But you’re trying to find a polite way to tell us that you’d rather pick up trash on the 405 than work for your friend’s parents?” Josué grinned.

“It’s not that,” I said—except, of course, itwas. “It’s just—I’m not even sure I’m applying for this program. Or that I’d get in if I did.”

“You don’t have to agree to anything now,” Joanna pointed out. “Just promise to think about it, like you did with your advisor. Can you do that?”

She said it so earnestly, and Josué smiled with so much encouragement, clapping me on the back, that I didn’t know what to say.

“Yeah.” I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I can do that.”

4

Blake

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