Page 96 of My Irresistible Enemy

And that scared me most of all.

I really had just come to his room yesterday to ask if he wanted to grab dinner, and even that, I’d wrestled with. I didn’t want to get too close to him. Didn’t want to accidentally start relying on him, when none of this was real.

It couldn’t be. Aiden wasn’t that kind of guy. He’d been clear this show was just a stepping-stone, that he was willing to do whatever it took, pretend to be whatever he needed to, in order to get where he was going.

And even ifhewere that kind of guy, I wasn’t.

Relationships—the real kind, not make-believe ones—required intimacy. Vulnerability. And I wasn’t about to get hurt again.

The problem was that, around Aiden, I forgot what being hurt felt like. Being in his presence was like unclenching my jaw for the first time in decades. And that was dangerous.

I just wished he’d make it easier on me. Where was the mouthy brat he’d been in the beginning? Why’d he have to go and plant the seeds of things I hadn’t felt for so long in my heart? They’d grow like weeds if I didn’t rip them out.

I shifted, sliding my arm back. It had been curved protectively over Aiden’s body. He slept like a cat, stretched out one moment, curled up the next, not at all concerned or even aware of the fact that he was always two seconds away from elbowing me somewhere sensitive. He was completely comfortable in himself, unashamed.

I’d been a terrible sleeper for as long as I could remember, but even though I’d woken up last night, I hadn’t gotten as annoyed as I usually did. If I hadn’t surfaced in the middle of the night, I would have missed the gift of Aiden’s lower back, bathed silver in a puddle of moonlight, his lips parted like a prayer.

At least I’d have that to hold on to.

Aiden’s eyes fluttered open as I shifted again, and he smiled up at me. Dawn broke in my chest.

“Morning,” he said sleepily.

In spite of myself, I leaned down and brushed a kiss across his lips.

“Morning.” I swept his hair off his forehead, my body looking for excuses to touch his.

“You need to go?” Aiden asked. He brought his arms above his head and stretched, his chest arching up off the mattress.

“Probably should.” My hand drifted through his hair.

How could he think so little of himself? How could he believe he didn’t deserve better than the only attention he allowed himself to receive?

I hadn’t meant to tell him so much about my past last night. I hadn’t told anyone about my mom, about my childhood, since—well, since ever.

I didn’t regret it. Not exactly. Aiden had been spiraling, and it had seemed like the right thing to do at the time. But it left me feeling a little unbalanced. Like I’d sprung a leak and water was about to come pouring into my boat.

Aiden deserved better—far better—than I could give him.

“Okay.” He smiled again, a soft, sunshiney smile that wasn’t meant for cameras, or an audience, or anyone but me. It cut like glass. “See you later?”

“Yeah,” I kissed his brow, out of excuses to linger. “Yeah, see you later.”

* * *

But I made sure I didn’t.

I couldn’t avoid Aiden entirely, of course. There were only four bakers left on the show, and even though Monday’s challenge episode was going to be a surprise, the producers still made the four of us get together over the weekend to film segments where we looked back on the competition and tried to guess what lay ahead. But I tried to make sure I wasn’t alone with him.

It turned out that Monday’s episode was vegan-themed. Poor Wade—he could have used his research from the library if he’d still been here. Since it was the semi-final, there were three bakes: a vegan three-tiered cake, a vegan custard tart, and vegan ice cream, which wasn’t even abakeat all, and yet was absurdly scary. I’d never made ice cream before, and even with our high-powered ice cream makers, I was sure I was going to mess it up.

Aiden kept up his running stream of commentary, of course, but I got the oddest sense that he wasn’t trying very hard—at baking, or at making innuendo. Vivian seemed to think so too, when she stopped by his workstation.

“We’ve seen such progress from you in the past few weeks, Aiden,” she said. “I’d hate to think you’re slacking off now.”

“Oh no, of course not.” Aiden smiled, but only briefly, at the camera trailing Vivian. “Trying my hardest, for sure.”

“Do you think the pressure of having three bakes today is getting to you?” she asked. “Or is it perhaps that because today’s challenge was a surprise, you and Nolan weren’t able to practice together? You two usually get up to all sorts of shenanigans.”

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