Page 19 of My Irresistible Enemy

I was still achingly hard, but now that my heartbeat was returning to normal, it was dawning on me just how reckless this had been. What was I thinking, hooking up with someone who hated me, who would probably throw me under the bus at the first opportunity?

Not to mention the fact that there was no way he’d understand my hang-ups around sex. No way he’d respect them, if I even explained. He was only twenty-one. For a million and one reasons, I needed to stay away from him.

Aiden still looked dazed when I turned around. “What,” he asked softly, “was that?”

My jaw clenched. I didn’t have a good explanation for him. I didn’t even have a good explanation for myself.

I’d lived like a monk for the past year. What was it about Aiden, of all people, that made me lose control?

“That was me finding out if you were capable of shutting up for more than five seconds,” I said, forcing a shrug. “Apparently, the answer is yes. Let’s see if you can carry some of that energy forward through the rest of the week.”

I brushed past him towards the door, but before I could walk out, Aiden grabbed my wrist.

I froze, my heart leaping back into my throat. A ridiculous reaction, considering how I’d held his wrists just minutes ago. But I really didn’t like it when people touched me when I wasn’t expecting it.

“Wait,” he said.

Against my better judgement, I turned around. He must have seen something in my eyes, because he let go of my wrist. But he didn’t look away. His stare was almost defiant.

“You’re not—” He broke off and tried again. “That is, you didn’t let me—” He shook his head and growled. “What I’m trying to say is, I could—”

Aiden cut himself off a third time but gestured at the towel around my waist. It was clear what he was offering. It had been clear since he’d grabbed my wrist. But I shook my head.

“No.” I slipped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I was dripping with sweat by the time I made it back to my room. I couldn’t even make it to my bed—I just slumped against the door as soon as I stepped inside, goosebumps breaking out all over my body. I hadn’t even gotten a chance to shower, but there was no way I could go back in that bathroom for a while.

I needed to calm down. Nothing had happened. Or, well, nothing had happened to me. I’d been in control the whole time. I’d been the one guiding us. None of that would have happened if I hadn’t kissed him in the first place.

So why did I feel so unmoored? So panicky. Like I was seconds away from coming undone.

Was it just because I was sober? The only other hookup I’d had this year, I’d purposefully gotten drunk for. I’d had all night to prepare, I’d walked into it with my eyes open, and I didn’t regret it, but I’d still needed to have a buzz before I could think about doing anything at all.

BeingaroundAiden provided its own kind of buzz, but not a very relaxing one. It felt like falling from the top of a roller coaster, over and over again. This was the closest I’d gotten to sex, sober, since…

Fuck. What the hell had I been thinking? Why did Icarewhat Aiden thought about me? He was a brat. An immature, loudmouth, attention-seeking brat. I didn’t give a shit what he thought.

And I certainly wasn’t going to let him see how much he’d rattled me.

I took a deep breath. My cock was still crying out for attention, but I decided to ignore it. I didn’t deserve that relief, frankly. Besides, I wasn’t sure jerking off wouldn’t also release whatever panic attack I was currently skirting the edges of, and we were supposed to be filming more this afternoon. I needed to keep it together.

A good mantra for the whole show, really. I’d come onA Piece of Caketo win money that my mom and I desperately needed. That was my only goal. And I wasn’t going to let some kid who was barely of legal drinking age derail that.

* * *

“Fans of A Piece of Cake have been salivating for the premiere of Season 13, and Wednesday’s episode proves worth the wait, with a gorgeous new setting, delicious baked goods, and, of course, the real eye candy—some absolutely scrumptious new contestants,” Em said, reading aloud from his phone.

He reached across his boyfriend, Tate, where they sat on a swing on the Wisteria Inn’s front porch, to grab his glass of wine. Mal and Deacon sat on a bench next to them, and I was leaning back against the porch railing, tilting my head up to look at the wisteria dripping down from the eaves.

Despite the fact that all the contestants were staying at Mal and Deacon’s inn, I felt like I’d barely seen my friends since I got here, let alone had a chance to catch up. Mal had insisted on us eating dinner together tonight. We’d brought it out to the porch so we wouldn’t get in the way of the film crew and production assistants and general chaos that reigned inside.

In addition to manning one of the roaming cameras that filmed inside the baking tent, Em was Deacon’s youngest brother. He was also dating my old college roommate, Tate. The two of them lived on the outskirts of town, and Mal had invited them to join us as well. He’d made pizza and opened a couple of bottles of wine for everyone to share.

Well, everyone except me. I was still rattled from what had happened on Monday with Aiden, and I wanted all my wits about me. But even so, sitting out here with my friends as dusk fell, I’d begun to relax for the first time since arriving on Summersea.

Right up until Em started reading an online review of the first episode, that was. It had aired last night and, apparently, the internet was all aflutter.

“All I do is shoot raw footage,” he’d explained as he pulled the article up. “I don’t get to see how it’s edited together, much less how people will react. I’m curious.”

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