Page 107 of My Irresistible Enemy

“You’re not a hypocrite,” Henry said. “And you’re not a mess. And I’m really, really sorry, because I have to go to class right now, but I promise, I will be at the airport to pick you up whenever you need, and then we’ll go get drunk, and trash-talk Nolan, and dance our asses off, and find someone new to take your mind off him. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. And thanks.”

I let Henry go, but I stood staring out the window for a long time after, his words ringing in my ears. The fact was, I didn’twantto trash-talk Nolan. I didn’t want to get drunk and dance and find someone new. What I wanted was right here on Summersea.

And I’d already lost it.

A knock at the door sent my heart into my throat. What if it was Nolan, coming to apologize, coming to tell me—honestly, what could he say that would make me forgive him? Why did I evenwantto forgive him?

I should have hated him, but instead, I approached the door with my heart pounding, breath coming in short gasps, hoping to see his face.

It was just Mal, though.

“Hey,” he said, holding up a tray of sandwiches and a bottle of water. “I thought you might not want to venture downstairs for lunch, so…”

“Oh, right. Thanks.” I tried to conceal my disappointment. I tried not tofeelmy disappointment. But it was a lost cause. I took the tray with a weak smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you come all the way up here. I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

He smiled kindly. “You didn’t put me out. And there’s no rush, you know. The network is paying for all the rooms through next week, so you can stay as long as you like.”

“I’m sure they’re going to put me on a plane sooner than that.” I sighed. “And nothing against your hospitality, but I’m not sure I want to stick around that long anyway.”

Mal gave me a long look. “Nolan?” I shrugged, and he nodded. “I heard things got a little, um, tense with him.”

“Have you talked to him?” I felt pathetic even asking, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Not really.” Mal shook his head. “He said he needed a walk. He’s over at Em’s place now.”

My lips twisted. “Probably didn’t want to run into me.”

“It’s possible.” Mal was quiet for a moment. “But maybe not for the reasons you think.”

“What do you mean?”

He bit his lip and gave me an assessing look. Whatever test he was putting me through, I must have passed, because finally, he nodded and spoke.

“Nolan is…weird…in some ways.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I’ve known him for a long time,” Mal continued. “He’s one of my best friends, Aiden. Whenever I’ve needed him, he’s been there for me. When I first moved to DC, he gave me a place to stay, helped me get a job. When I ended up in a bad relationship, Nolan was the one person who never gave up on me, the person who wouldn’t let my ex just cut me out of his life. When I first came to Summersea, and things were rocky, Nolan was the person I turned to.”

“Mal, I—”

“I have a point, I promise. What I’m trying to say is that Nolan’s really good at helping other people. But when it comes to accepting help? He kind of sucks at it.”

“No kidding.”

“I’ve known the guy for years, and evenIdidn’t know his mom was sick, let alone living with him, until I heard it through the grapevine this week.”

“Really?” I blinked.

“Really. The things that matter most to him, the things that scare him the most—those are the things he’s least likely to talk about. I knew he wasn’t close with his family, knew he grew up with his grandparents, but that was all. He never mentioned anything about his mom’s history with drugs, or his dad being abusive, or—I mean, I’m not saying he should have, necessarily. It’s his right to decide what he wants to share and what he doesn’t. But think about it. There’s all this stuff in his past that he’s never told anyone, and suddenly, the whole world knows? How do you think he’s going to react?”

I’d never thought of it that way. Which, I supposed, was Nolan’s point when he’d told me I wouldn’t understand. I refused to feel ashamed of myself, and the fact that my parents were so shitty only made me more determined not to hide who I was.

But Nolan had spent years trying to keep the world out. Worse, he’d spent years blaming himself for what had happened to his mom. For his mom to then tell their story on television, for him to find out that he’d never been at fault while cameras were filming him? That would have been his worst nightmare.

And if what Mal said was true, if evenhehadn’t known about Nolan’s childhood and the situation with his mom, what did it mean that Nolan had toldmeabout it?

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