Page 104 of My Irresistible Enemy

“I’m telling you, it was fake. We weretryingto trick people.”

“So?” Tate said, putting his elbows on his knees. “Take Em and me. We were just pretending, too, and look what happened to us. Sometimes real feelings arise when you least expect them. And sometimes, that can be really amazing.”

“I don’twanthim to have real feelings for me,” I snapped.

“Why? Because it would be awkward? Because you don’t have feelings for him? Or…”

Tate let the sentence hang there unfinished, but the unspoken question was clear.

Or because you do, and you just don’t want to admit it?

“He’s just so…ridiculous,” I said. “He’s loud and shameless and makes everything into a joke. He’s obnoxious just because he can be. He’s basically as different from me as you can get, and I swear to God, he takes pleasure in driving me crazy. Like, me personally, over and above anyone else.”

“So?” Tate said again. I looked at him, lost. He laughed softly. “Nolan, all of that can be true or not true. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Not if you love him.”

Love?

“I don’t—that’s completely—no.No.” I shook my head vehemently. “That’s absurd.”

Tate just looked at me.

“I don’t even—we’re not—I’m not even looking for—just—no. You’re wrong.Verywrong.”

Tate’s eyes never left mine, and eventually, I had to look away, only to find that Em was staring at me now too. Except where Tate was still skeptical, Em looked amused. I couldn’t decide which was worse.

I folded my arms. “I don’t know where you two got the idea that I could—I mean, I’m sure it’s very amusing for you to pretend that we—look, the point is, it’s cute and all, but it’s completely and totally and entirely off-base. I don’t love Aiden. I’m not even sure Ilikehim.”

“Nolan.” Tate gave me a flat look. Em just grinned.

“Okay, fine. He has his redeeming qualities.”

I pressed my lips together. Aiden had a lot of redeeming qualities. And he brought out parts of me I didn’t know existed. Made me feel things I hadn’t known were possible. Just thinking about him filled my chest with the sweetest ache. But that didn’t mean Ilovedhim. Right?

“Redeeming qualities or not,” I said, “I still want to strangle him half the time, and the times when I don’t,heprobably wants to strangleme.”

Em’s smile grew even wider, and Tate just watched me, like he was waiting for something. My heart felt hot and fluttery. Why was I sweating all of a sudden?

“Are you done?” Tate asked.

“Done with what?”

“Lying to yourself. Or do you have more to get out of your system? Because we can keep doing this as long as you need, but eventually, you’re going to run out of excuses, and I want to know when the real conversation is going to start.”

I growled and looked back out over the water. Why was he being so stubborn about this? And what the hell would it take to get it through his head that he was wrong?

It was completely ridiculous. MelovingAiden?

Sure, he’d grown on me over time. And yes, when he wasn’t deliberately trying to get under my skin, I liked spending time with him. To be honest, even when he was trying to annoy me, I still enjoyed his company. He made me forget myself. Got me out of my own head. He might drive me crazy, but the minute he walked out of the room, I wished he’d come back. Butlovinghim?

He was just…Aiden. He was always there, like an itch I couldn’t quite scratch, a thirst I couldn’t quench. Always pushing me, challenging me, making me think and feel and question things I’d never intended. Tearing down my walls, never giving me a moment’s—never letting me—never telling me…

You really don’t know how to let people in, do you?

His words from Monday flashed back into my mind, and I grunted like I’d been kicked by a horse. Tate was right. Aiden might be messy. He might drive me crazy. But none of that was what actually bothered me.

Aiden’s only real flaw, the crime he had the audacity to commit over and over, was that he made me break my rules. He tempted me out of my comfort zone, where nothing ever happened, so I never got hurt. He refused to let me pull back into myself, to retreat behind my walls.

Aiden made mewantthings. He was technicolor. He was the summer sun and the scent of tangerines and a racing heartbeat. And he made it impossible to ignore just how gray and cold and empty my life had become.

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