Page 64 of My First Time Fling

“That’s the thing, though.” Mark took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. With his other hand, he traced a finger down my cheek. “I don’t want to forget what happened, exactly.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not saying I want to dwell on it or be permanently sad or anything,” he said. “But I just—I realized this week that what I’m struggling with—the PTSD—it’s probably not going to go away any time soon. And it’ll probably be up and down, for a while. There’ll be good days, and there’ll be days when it’s harder, and the thing is, I want you to know that even if it does get hard—whenit does, I should say—that I still love you. So much. And I will do everything in my power not to hurt you. But I—I—”

He broke off, something unspoken in his eyes, and suddenly, I understood.

“And I’ll do the same for you,” I told him. He flushed and looked down, and I put my hand on his cheek, bringing his gaze back to me. “Listen to me, Mark. I love you. And I know it’s not always going to be easy or perfect or smooth sailing. But I am choosing this anyway. I choose you. I can’t ever know what it’s like to be inside your head, inside your heart, but from what you’ve said, it can be a scary place sometimes. So I need you to know that I will do everything inmypower not to hurtyou. To make you feel safe and loved. Because youareloved. I love you so, so much.”

“Even if I’m messed up? Even if I’m broken? If I don’t get better?”

“Even then.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You couldn’t be. Not even if you tried.”

“But—”

“You’re a gift, Mark. You have made my life better since the moment you came into it. You could disappear tomorrow, and I’d still be grateful to have gotten you for as long as I did.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” I held his eyes with mine. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d prefer for younotto disappear. Like, that would really suck, please don’t do that. But you could never be a burden to me. You are a blessing.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, and a tear trickled down his cheek. His face broke into a smile.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Well, good. Because I don’t deserve you either. You don’t have to be good enough todeservepeople’s love. You don’t have to earn it. You just have to appreciate it, when it comes.”

Mark’s smile widened. “Okay. But could I maybe attempt to show you some of that appreciation?”

I smiled back. “Depends on what you had in mind. Was there going to be a PowerPoint involved? Like, a presentation of facts and findings, or were you thinking of more of a hands-on ex—”

He cut me off with a kiss.

Mark’s lips were sweet and warm, trailing down my jaw and onto my neck. He nipped the skin there gently before moving to my chest. I moaned when he took my nipple in his mouth, rolling it over with his tongue before biting it, just hard enough to make me gasp. I stroked his head, his neck, his shoulders as he made his way down my body.

I shivered with anticipation as he kissed my stomach and my thighs before finally taking my cock firmly in one hand, massaging my balls with the other. He swiped at my quivering tip with his tongue. Fuck, it had been too long.

I thought I might combust as he ran his tongue up and down my length, teasing me. I wanted to feel his mouth on me now. I squeezed his shoulders, digging my nails in just enough for him to feel it. Finally, I felt Mark’s lips on the head of my cock. I moaned again as he slid his mouth down around me.

He rolled his tongue along my shaft as he brought it into his mouth, sucking me in and out. His hand stroked up and down in time with his lips, and he teased my balls with the other one. It felt so good, and so much sweeter, since I’d thought for a while that this would never happen again.

“Fuck, Mark, I’m gonna come if you keep that up,” I groaned.

“I like the sound of that.”

“I don’t want to come yet. Not until you’re inside me.”

He laughed, and I could feel the vibrations around my cock. Fuck, that felt good. Slowly, he pulled me out of his mouth and pushed my legs apart to lick my balls. Reaching up to the top of the bed, he grabbed a pillow and dragged it down, sliding it under my lower back.

I felt exposed, my ass tilted up in the air, and I could feel his breath tickling me.

“The lube’s in the nightstand,” I whispered.

“I know.” Mark grinned. “But I don’t need that. Yet.”

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