Page 19 of My First Time Fling

“No, I definitely like him. Thatisthe problem. We were just friends, and everything was fine, and I didn’t think I was going to do anything about it, but then today, I kissed him by accident, and—”

“How do you kiss somebody by accident?”

“I don’t know, it just happened. We were in the park, and he tripped me, and I practically fell on top of him—”

“Oh kill me now, that’s like, sickeningly cute.”

“—And I just got caught up in the moment and I…I kissed him. And now I’m freaking out.”

“Because you kissed a guy?” Gabe sounded incredulous.

“No, because I kissedJesse. And he’s my friend. He’s like, the only person I know here and besides, I like him.”

“Yeah, you said. So what’s the problem? Doeshenot likeyou?”

“No! I think he does.” I sighed. “That’sthe problem.”

“You seem to think a lot of things are problems that really don’t appear to be, from my point of view. You like him, he likes you. Isn’t that kind of the ideal situation?”

“No, because if he really does like me, what if he wants to date or something? I can’t do that. But I don’t want to tell him Idon’twant to date, because I don’t want to hurt him, but I feel like I’m going to, no matter what I do.

“You’re overthinking this,” Gabe said. “Seriously.”

“Not really. I just never should have kissed him. What the fuck did I think I was doing?”

“You know, you were right, back at the beginning of this call, when you said it was stupid. Because thatisstupid. You definitely should have kissed him. Good things come from saying yes to opportunities.

“That's easy for you to say,” I grumbled. “Everyone likes you. You’re normal. Peoplewantyou to say yes to them. I, on the other hand, shouldn’t say yes to people.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, you don’t have to make a huge decision now. Why don’t you just tell him you like him, and you want to keep hanging out, but you’re not sure you’re ready for a relationship?”

“Because that’s never worked in the history of time, ever? It’ll sound like a brush-off. And I’m not brushing him off. I’m just…” I trailed off, unable to articulate how certain I was that that would make me sound like the world’s biggest asshole.

“It won’t sound like a brush-off if you mean it.”

“I think you’re being overly optimistic because literally no one has ever said something like that to you. So you don’t know how this works.”

“You can think what you want, dude, but I’m pretty sure this is your best option. Aside from, you know, actually telling him about what’s going on with you,” Gabe added. “That could work too.”

“So that he can back away from me slowly, like I’m a bomb about to go off, and then never talk to me again? Thanks, I’ll pass.”

“If he’s actually your friend, he won’t do that.”

“You sound like a Dr. Seuss book.”

“Hey, there’s some wise shit in those books.”

There was a loud crash in the background, and the sound of something breaking. I winced, even though I couldn’t see what had happened. It didn’t sound good.

“Hey, man, I think I might need to go,” Gabe said after a moment’s silence. “It looks like Brian fell head-first off the porch and into a garbage can.”

“Typical Brian.” Not that I knew him that well, but it sounded about right. “Alright, go eat your bacon scrambled eggs or whatever. And thanks.”

“Bacon scrambled eggs? What?”

“Didn’t you tell someone to put bacon in yours, before you came outside?”

“Oh. Nah, that was for my Bloody Mary.”

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