Page 18 of My First Time Fling

“Makes sense, makes sense,” Gabe said. “Like opening a window so you can let the cool air in, get some fresh perspective.”

“Technically it’s actually hot air flowing out in that scenario,” I said. “Cold air doesn’t have as much energy, so it’s the hot air that—” I stopped, cutting myself off when I realized Gabe was laughing on the other end of the line. “Is there something funny about the laws of thermodynamics?”

“Sorry,” he said with a chuckle. “Not laughing at you. It’s just, isn’t it the same thing? For this purpose, at least? Like, it’s just as good if you wanna get metaphorical. Letting hot air out still works for the analogy.”

“Far be it from me to care about your grasp of basic scientific principles.”

“Oh, is that what you were doing? You were trying to educate me, not just trying to avoid talking about the reason you called?”

“I’m beginning to regret calling at all.”

“Of course you are. But you’re still gonna tell me, because I’m just gonna call you back and bother you if you don’t.”

I rolled my eyes. I’d forgotten how annoying Gabe could be. Annoying, but also right.

“Fine. Remember how a few weeks ago, the last time we talked, I said I would go out to a bar and like, try to meet people?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I met someone.”

“Nice,” Gabe said. “That was fast. But I support it. Okay, so tell me about her. What’s her name?”

I paused. Up until now, I’d been planning on telling this story using gender-neutral pronouns. But suddenly, that just seemed tiring. And the whole point of calling Gabe was to tell him what was going on in my head. So maybe I shouldactuallytell him. If he got really weird about it, I could always hang up, right?

“Jesse,” I said after a moment. “Hisname is Jesse.”

“Damn.” Gabe whistled appreciatively. “Hey, way to go. Good for you, man.”

“What?”

“That’s awesome.”

“Really? You’re happy for me?” I was baffled. I hadn’t exactly expected Gabe to be outright hostile about it, but I definitely hadn’t been prepared for him to react so positively. “You know I’ve never dated guys before, right?”

“Of course I think it’s awesome. It’s awesome that you’ve met anyone, whatever their gender. But yeah, I actually think it’s kind of cool that you’re dating a guy. Most people go their whole lives closed off to new possibilities, never thinking that they could expand their horizons.”

“Huh. Okay.”

Gabe barked a laugh. “Should I be insulted that you’re so surprised? I know I’m kind of an idiot, but I’m not an asshole, you know?”

“You’re not,” I said, smiling. “You’re not either of those things. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be surprised. And thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it. So. You met a guy. Why do I feel like there’s abutcoming?”

Before I could answer, he started to laugh.

“What?” I asked.

“Butt. Coming. Heh.”

I snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re lying if you say that that didn’t kind of make you laugh.”

“It was a pity laugh. I didn’t want you to feel bad about your fourth-grade sense of humor.”

“And there you were, just telling me I’m not an idiot. But we’re getting off track here. What’s the problem? Do you not like this guy anymore?”

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