Page 11 of My First Time Fling

“A bulldog’s face looks like a cupcake that someone smushed on the floor.”

“See, you obviously don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe you’re the heartless one.”

“Well, I still wouldn’t cheat on you.” The words left my mouth before I could stop them, and Jesse’s head whipped around to look at me in surprise. “I mean, or anybody. Whoever I was dating.”

I clamped my lips shut before I could say anything else. I’d probably only made it worse.

Why did I have to be so awkward? I didn’t want Jesse thinking I was hitting on him, because I definitely wasn’t. I liked women, for one thing, and even if I had liked men, I wouldn’t be trying to flirt with a guy who’d just gone through a bad breakup. A guy who was literally my only friend in town.

“Oh, your face is priceless right now,” Jesse said, laughing in between gasps of breath. “Don’t worry, I’m not suddenly going to fall in love with you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said, but I left my explanation there.

WhathadI meant, actually? I didn’t want Jesse to think I was hitting on him, but the idea that he might end up liking me? Weirdly, a little bit of warmth blossomed in my core at the thought.

Maybe it was just because I didn’t know anyone else in Savannah. And Jesse was a great guy, from what I could tell. It was probably just nice to feel like someone liked me, even just as a friend.

“Besides, I’m sure you have a girlfriend back home in…Chicago, right?” he said.

I nodded. “Yeah, Chicago. But no, actually. I don’t.”

“Really?” His eyebrows climbed towards his scalp. “Somehow I find that hard to believe. Unless, are you here because you’re running away from a devastating breakup? Or hiding in shame after declaring unrequited love for your childhood best friend? That would be juicy.”

“No,” I laughed. “Nothing that dramatic. I’m just—”

I stopped for a second, scrolling through options in my head. I couldn’t actually tell him why I was here. I’d barely told anyone, aside from Gabe and my family. And I wouldn’t have even told them, if it had been avoidable. I’d just met Jesse. It didn’t matter how great he seemed, I didn’t want to put this on him.

I needed a friend, I realized now. I couldn’t risk losing Jesse by making him feel awkward or uncomfortable around me, and there was nothing like admitting you had PTSD for making people feel uncomfortable. I was honestly pretty sure he’d react better if I lied and saidIwas the kind of person who kicked puppies, than if I admitted the truth.

“I’m just trying to figure out what to do next, I guess,” I finished with a lame smile.

“You and me both,” he said wryly. “You and me both.”

We made the final turn, and Gigi’s place came into view. It sat back from the street in a big green yard, a majestic old Queen Anne with a wrap-around porch. Gigi was out in the front yard deadheading flowers as we jogged up the sidewalk. Jesse’s eyes widened as I turned up the driveway.

“You livehere?” he asked, drawing in a sharp breath.

“Yeah. But it’s not mine. I’m just helping my grandmother fix it up so she can sell it.”

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed. His eyes scanned the building from top to bottom. “It’s like something out of a storybook.”

“It’s also leaky, full of peeling wallpaper, and liable to give way beneath you if you step on certain floorboards.”

“Still.” His eyes roamed across the building again as we walked across the lawn to the front door.

“Hey, Gigi,” I said, waving at my grandmother as we got close. She straightened, clippers in hand, and shaded her eyes to look at us. I gave her a big smile. “We just stopped by for a water break.”

Jesse smiled eagerly and stepped forward. “Hi, I’m Jesse. You have such a lovely home.”

“You want this derelict old pile? It might fall down around you, but I’ll sell it to you for a song.” Gigi took his hand and shook it vigorously. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jesse. I’m so glad you convinced Mark to run this marathon.”

“It was the other way around, actually,” Jesse laughed. “And if I hadn’t given my heart to another derelict old pile, I’d say yes.”

I gave Gigi a quick, sweaty hug before heading inside, and Jesse followed me up the porch steps and back into the kitchen.

“Your grandma’s so nice,” he said as I handed him a glass of water. “It’s so sweet of you to live with her. I wish I’d gotten to know any of my grandparents, but we don’t really talk to my dad’s side of the family, and my mom’s parents died when I was young.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, and he shrugged.

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