Page 59 of New Year's Faye

Status: COMPLETE MELTDOWN

CURRENT SITUATION:

? In possession of Sam's song notebook

? Emotions: Unregulated

IMMEDIATE CONCERNS:

1. Unable to create spreadsheet for feelings

2. Sam's lyrics keep making me cry

3. Running out of sticky notes

Note: STOP CRYING ON THE NOTEBOOK

EMERGENCY ACTIONS REQUIRED:

A) Make PowerPoint presentation [Pros and Cons]

B) Create comprehensive data analysis

C) Color-code everything

D) STOP READING SAMS JOURNAL (FAILING)

Current Status: T-minus 8 hours to show time

Threat Level: BEYOND CRITICAL

Personal Note: What if I've loved him all along?

Secondary Note: Need more colored tabs

Final Note: This was never pretend, was it?

Iended up at Trent and Ryan's at midday, clutching Sam's notebook and trying not to fall apart.

"I can't control it," I blurted when Trent opened the door. "I can't... I can't make a plan for this."

My brother took one look at me and pulled me into a hug. "Come on, sis. I'll make tea."

Their house was quiet, warm winter light softly shining through the glass windows. Photos of their life together lined the walls—Trent and Ryan's wedding, Seth and Emma's adoption days, family gatherings that showed love didn't have to be perfect to be real.

Decorations from Christmas and Thanksgiving still peeked out here and there—a pumpkin now covered in tinsel, a row of multicoloured fairy lights, a discarded elf on a shelf.

Their home had love and life in it. And I loved that for my brother.

"The kids are at Mom and Dad's for the weekend," Trent explained, guiding me to their kitchen. "And Ryan's working late on a case."

I sank into a chair at their breakfast bar, still clutching Sam’s notebook. "I'm sorry for just showing up."

"Please." He started the kettle. "Like you haven't sat through plenty of my crises."

"That's different. You always knew what you wanted." I traced the worn edge of Sam's notebook. "You knew you loved Ryan, even when you were apart."

"Ah." He leaned against the counter. "So this is about Sam."

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