Page 61 of In a Pinch

If I am feeling the buzz, I know she is probably on her way to the point of no return. Should I stop her? Maybe? But watching her have the time of her life, celebrating what’s to come next? We can worry about our hangovers tomorrow, while we’re dry heaving at the beach. On that note, a little water won’t hurt.

Throwing my hand in the air to get her attention, I yell, “Grab a water while you’re at it!”

“Don’t be a fun sucker, Addie,” Isla says, and I shake my head, the warmth of the alcohol pooling in my cheeks.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, and a cheeky grin finds my face when I see the name light up across the front.

You having fun? I miss you.

3 rounds of tequila shots fun. Only two more to go before I’m dancing on tabletops! ;)

If you promise to demonstrate when you get home, I can probably hold in my jealousy

Oh, I can give you a better show than these people

“Who has you smiling like that?” Isla asks, trying to peek around my shoulder. Her sudden intrusion causes me to jump. How the hell did she get back here so fast? She sets the waters down on the table and takes a seat at the empty barstool.

“Oh, um, no one. It was just a funny meme.” The lie falls off my tongue before I can figure out why I lied in the first place,

All this time here, and I’m still feeling self-conscious of her thoughts of me being with Sam. There’s still a chance this could all go wrong. Plus, I tend to be a flight risk. It’s a work in progress to not let other people’s opinion drive my life. But that’s a later me problem.

I’ll tell her soon. Maybe when I know more and make sure it’s going somewhere. Which, being that we’ve been attached at the hip since I moved into my apartment a month ago, I already know the answer to that. Honestly, I’m already in too deep with him. So, even I think that excuse sucks. Great.

But I don’t want to freak her out too much during this girls weekend. Plus, then I will be bombarded by everyone… But I probably should tell her before the wedding because she will be wondering why we’re all over each other if he decides to go.Damn. When I’m more sober, I really need to do some soul-searching and figure out why I’m being a little bitch.

“Scrolling your phone while at the bar is lame-o.” She snatches my phone from my hands and sets it down on the table. “I keep forgetting to ask you why you broke things off with Shaun?”

Damn, here I thought she was going to completely forget about him. If we’re being honest, I had until this exact second.

“We didn’t really have any chemistry. He kissed me at the end of the night, and it just felt, I don’t know?” My shoulders bunch to my ears in remembrance of the feeling. “It was just a no.” Especially comparing it to literally anything with Sam, it was just lackluster. Sam and I can sit in comfortable silence and it still feels electric.

She seems genuinely bummed. “Oh, that’s too bad. I thought you guys would have hit it off.”

Immediately, my head begins shaking, as if I’m completely repulsed by the idea. He was kind and attractive. But he just wasn’t Sam. I was still 100 percent in denial of the hardcore crush I had on him.

“Eh, not so much. I tried texting him a day after the date, too, because I wanted to give it a try, but everything just felt forced, you know?”

“Sure it has nothing to do with you and your revulsion to clean-cut, good men?” She winks at me, but the joke misses its delivery and nails me in the gut. Instead of feeling like laughing, I feel like crying.

This is the exact reason why I haven’t wanted to say anything. I’m back on my own two legs right now, but they’re shaky, and it doesn’t take a whole lot to break the confidence I’ve been working to rebuild. She’s always said stuff like this, but I never let it bug me. We give each other crap all the time, but she’s killing life right now, and it feels like I’m not. That feeling is really hard to describe: being happy for people, but feelingyour heart get crushed every time someone else does what you thought you would be doing.

She’s in her own world tonight, so I give it a pass. She would never intentionally hurt my feelings, nor does she know how much these little comments get to me. It’s my fault for not voicing it, but I guess, until recently, I agreed with her. In the past, Ihaveagreed with her. But Sam is changing that. He is changing a lot of things. He makes me feel more confident in myself.

I laugh it off. “Yeah. Enough about me. Let’s go dance!” Grabbing her hand, I turn to head to the dance floor. I need to get off this subject and shake off the icky feeling in my chest.

Liv comes from left field with another round of drinks. I didn’t even notice her get up. Between the buzz, noise, and us running around like chickens, it’s hard to keep anything straight. She presses the drinks together between her hands, and Isla and I each grab ours and sip them down. It’s hotter than Hades in here, between the dancing and all the bodies, and the ice-cold drink helps cool me down and settle out my nerves. We probably should have picked the waters that are sitting in front of us, being ignored. Maybe after this one, we can focus on hydration.

When the drinks are finished, Isla grabs our hands and heads straight for the center of people dancing around.

The night is flying by, and every worry has left my body. How I managed to completely blow past my rule of not being fucked-up is a major failure on my duty as maid of honor. Oops.

We dart around the bar randomly, reuniting with one another before finding another group to make friends with. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but the drunken smile across my face would sell this as a complete lie. We’ve had the time of our lives.

At one point, Isla disappears. Again. Searching the room, I find her talking to a different group of girls, laughing and taking pictures with them. Shaking my head, I turn back to Liv aswe dance. Drunken giggles rise up in my throat. She grabs my forearms, and we do the stereotypical drunk girl dance, throwing our heads around and bouncing from foot to foot, with no beat at all. I’m sure there’s a beat somewhere in this room, but we will never find it.

“Do you wanna know a secret?” It’s bubbling inside of me, and I just have to tell someone. Liv seems safe.

Her eyes grow wide. “I love secrets. Do tell.” She squeezes my forearms, her blue eyes alight with excitement and strobe lights from the dance floor.

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