Page 34 of The Marine

Although I had.

“No, no, no, no, no,” I’d said into the sheets as I cried, unable to move as he pounded into me painfully.

We never spoke about it.

The next day, he brought me breakfast in bed, plucked a flower from our garden, and put it in a vase next to the bed.

I stayed quiet.

I knew how this worked from my childhood.

If you don’t say anything, Daddy will be nice for a period of time. So I stepped straight back into survival mode.

Plus, I was in shock. My dreams shattered. And, like many other women, I told myself it wouldn’t happen again.

Especially a few nights later when we were making love, and he whispered how sorry he was and how much he loved me.

It wouldn’t happen again.

That I was sure of.

Until I wasn’t.

It took me a whole year to tell Trina and Alice. They begged me to leave him.

At that point, it had been three months since he’d last hurt me and we were trying for a baby. The ol’ a child will fix what is wrong with us.

I also thought if I was pregnant with his child, Kael would stop thinking I wanted other men.

I didn’t.

I wanted him to stop hurting me.

God, I was so dumb.

When I told my mom, she cried so hard. I knew she felt guilty. And sheisguilty to some degree. But I don’t blame her.

How can I?

I know how hard it is to leave.

It’s terrifying.

I’m living through it right now. So I don’t want to justify it to Aidan. He’s a strong, powerful man. He will never understand how I feel.

How many women feel.

Powerlessness isn’t something he would understand.

“What happened?” Aidan asks, sitting up.

“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head and sit up next to him, tugging the sheet over me.

I feel vulnerable and hate this conversation after what we just did together. I know this isn’t leading anywhere—it never can—but it’s been hard fighting the desire I have for him since he turned back up in my life.

Mom would be furious is she knew.

He is our enemy as far as Mom is concerned. And I treated him as if he was all those years ago.

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