Page 127 of Mark

“A serial killer who likes to creep through women’s windows?” he finishes when I can’t find the words.

I laugh. “Yes. It’s the eyes.”

He shudders. “Freaks me out.” He puts his arm around me when I lay down next him. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

I sink my face into his chest, groaning. “I feel embarrassed. I don’t even know why I got so emotional about it. I never let shit people say get to me, so I’ve got no idea why I let it get to me this time.”

“Probably because you’ve spent so long brushing things off. It’s catching up to you. Now tell me what upset you enough that you didn’t think to knee Twat Face in the balls for approaching you.”

I chuckle, but then groan when I realise he won’t stop until I’ve told him. “I heard my cousin, Sophie, and Esther’s best friend, Diana, bitching about me in the bathroom. I’m not going to repeat what was said because I just feel so fucking stupid. I should have known that just because Esther and I are on speaking terms now, that doesn’t mean the others would stop talking shit about me.”

“What were they saying?”

I lower my gaze to his chest. “It’s silly now I’ve sobered up.”

He tilts my chin up with his fingers, his eyes filled with kindness when he replies. “If it’s enough to upset you, then it can’t be silly.”

I search his gaze, hoping he won’t make fun of me. I know it’s silly to agonize over trivial words, but they leave a scar. “Swear you won’t laugh?”

“Promise,” he assures me.

“They said I’m embarrassing and an attention seeker. That I’m screaming desperation by being all over you and that you’re using me. They went on to say I’m basically letting you use me so I can get pregnant and outdo Esther. Which, by the way, I would never do. Apparently, my mum said she wasn’t worried about that because I didn’t take anything seriously. It was more of the same shit. It’s not what was actually said that hurt me the most. I think it’s because I’m still the topic of conversation where they are concerned,” I explain, letting out a sigh. “I told you. It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. I’m not one of those people who will tell you to rise above it, to stop listening to them because they are ‘jealous’. People fucking suck, and they try to bully you into being silent. Sometimes you need to be loud back. Sometimes you need to cause a big fucking scene and tell them where to go. I don’t know when the entire world became fucking critics. Everyone has an opinion on fucking everything; even how you place your toilet roll. Me? I let it roll over me. But that’s with people who mean shit to me. You’re getting it from people you love or loved. So no, it’s not silly.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “Is that what you were talking to Danny about?”

I shake my head. “I ran into him outside and it made me realise he’s the reason for all of this. Or the main reason. I get people hating me if I had been cruel to him or if I trapped himor cheated on him. Or maybe been in the middle of him getting with Esther. But I did nothing to him. To any of them. And he could have stopped all the whispers. He must have known what it would do to my relationship with my family too, but he didn’t care. It’s isolated me from them, something that has never happened before. I’ve never been able to do right in their eyes but not like this. It’s like I killed someone but they just can’t quite prove it, so they push me, hoping I’ll break and confess. Danny cheated on me. It was Esther who got with my ex-boyfriend. Yet I’m the one who has been on trial since they got together. I’m the one people are throwing punches at and hating. It fucking sucks.”

“The entire situation is fucked up. I bet you sometimes feel like you are in a dream, screaming at the top of your lungs in a crowded room, but not a person in sight can hear you.”

That is exactly how I feel. “Yep.” I roll onto my back, glancing up at the ceiling. “All my life I’ve had my mum tell me to stop doing things because I embarrass her. It didn’t hit me until overhearing Diana and Sophie in the bathroom that it’s not really the things I do that embarrass people, it’s me. They are embarrassed of me as a person. Because those things I do… that’s what makes me, me. I am affectionate. I do laugh loudly. I do like to have fun. I like to keep my makeup minimal. And I love standing up for myself. But I never thought of myself as acting desperate.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, looming over me. “Babe, if the whole desperate thing embarrasses you, stop. Because I fucking crave you to the point I can’t see or think straight.” He presses the lightest kiss on my temple and my stomach flutters. “Fuck them. Do I give a fuck what people think about it? No. My family may tease me, but it comes from a place of love. They want me to be happy. Plus, we were raised to be who we are, not what society wants us to be.”

A smile spreads across my face at his words. “So you’re happy?”

He arches a brow. “Do you really think I’d be okay with you locking us in a store room, where there was no food, and still come lie in your bed, if I wasn’t?”

I lightly smack his chest. “You got us locked in the store room, you mean.”

“Yeah, but if it wasn’t for you tempting me and making me want you so goddamn much, I wouldn’t have needed to drag you in there,” he declares as he grabs my arse, lifting me up until I’m lying on top of him.

I roll my eyes. “Your logic is flawed.”

“But it makes sense to me.”

I chuckle. “Of course it does.”

He smacks my arse. “Behave.”

“I always behave,” I assure him, pressing a kiss to his lips. My stomach rumbles. “God, what I would do for a Chinese right now.”

He laughs. “I’ll have to take you to this all you can eat Chinese when we get home. It’s the best Chinese place ever.” My heart melts at his declaration and a wide smile spreads across my face. “Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“Because you’re making plans for us when we are back home.”

He thick, dark eyebrows dip down. “Why wouldn’t I?”

My smile spreads further. “You like me,” I tease.

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