Page 42 of Mace

As I walk past him, I ruffle his hair, making him recoil. That’s always guaranteed to distract him, but this time, it doesn’t. He follows me into the living room, watching as I clean up some of the glasses and junk on the coffee table.

“What did Bernie want?” he asks.

“Just checking in on us.”

I keep my eyes averted, certain that if I look at him, he’s going to know the truth.

“Yeah, because Bernie really gives two shits about us.”

I don’t pull him up on his language, even though I should. “Of course, he doesn’t, but he cares about the property. Do you want to watch a movie with me before I have to go to work?”

His arms fold across his chest, and for the first time, he’s not the little kid I think he is. He seems older, more mature than ever before. “Are we in trouble, Maylie?”

Shit.“Why would we be in trouble?”

“Because we’ve lived here for two years and Bernie has never come to the flat. Not once. And what did he mean, ‘think about what I said’? What did he want you to think about?”

I love that my little brother is smart, but sometimes, it can be a curse. “Why don’t you let me worry about grown-up things while you just worry about being a kid,” I say.

His jaw flexes. “You don’t always have to shoulder the burden, May. You don’t have to always be strong either. No one expects that. You lost Mum too. Your life changed too. Ivy might not remember it, but I see how much you’ve sacrificed for us. And you never asked for any of this either.”

My throat is choked by his words. I didn’t choose it—I would much rather have our mother here, raising all three of us—but that was not the hand we were dealt. “You and Ivy are the most important thing in my world, Toby. I would do anything for both of you.”

“You know we feel the same way about you, right?”The lump in my throat grows again. “Even Ivy. I know she’s being a bitch right now, but she’s gonna wake up and see that. When she does, she’s gonna be so sorry.”

I have to believe I can bring our sister back into our life, because there is no alternative. “I know.” Tears prick my eyes, and I try to hold them back.

Toby shakes his head, crossing the room and throwing his arms around me. He hugs me so tight, I almost choke on my own tongue trying to keep my emotions under control. It’s been so long since anyone held me. Every ounce of my body craves to be loved, and Toby gives me this with his embrace.

“I love you, Maylie.”

His words are healing, papering over the wounds that cut me. “I love you too, you little dork.”

He snorts as he pulls back. “You’re far more dorky than I am.”

“Right. So, you want to watch the movie or not?”

“Fine, but I get to pick. I don’t wanna watch some girly chick flick.”

He picks up the remote, and I let some of the tension ooze out of me. Ivy knows I didn’t mean to hurt her, and Bernie… once I pay him, he’ll go away. Maybe I can pick up more hours or…

Or I can dance.

My gut twists unpleasantly, but I don’t see what other option there is except to get a second job in the day and work Temptation during the night. Doing that means neglecting things at home even more than I already am.

Sam pushed a lot for me to be on stage, and I always said no.

But I can’t afford to be picky. There’s no way I’mgetting evicted, and I’m not sleeping with Bernie to pay my arrears.

Stripping on stage is at least something I have control over.

“Since when have I ever made you watch girly chick flicks?” I fire back at him, but my words are dulled by the emotions colliding inside me.

“What about the cheesy stuff you make us watch over Christmas?”

“That doesn’t count. Christmas movies are exempt from the chick flick bracket,” I say.

I watched a movie with my brother, barely taking in any of the plot. My mind instead is focused on my next steps. As the time for me to go to work rolls around, Ivy isn’t back, and my stomach is in knots. She’s never going to forgive me, and I can’t say I blame her.

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