Page 19 of The Professor's Holiday Surprise

His torso heaves against my touch, like I’ve touched him with a live wire. Or maybe that’s just projection because my whole arm is tingling.

“I’m not sorry,” I manage to whisper. I can’t tell him that I lived for Sunday nights just as much as I lived for his class three times a week. That I love every part of him, and I can’t quite believe the wild, horrible coincidence that will now take both sides away from me all at once.

I tighten my grip, trying to remember how this feels, and also work around the lump in my throat at the same time. “I’ll never tell anyone, Dr. Lowry. I promise.”

“I’m not worried about that, Paisley. God. Fucking. Damn. It. I—” His hand covers mine. Strong. Firm. Slowly, he untangles my fist and removes my hand from his body.

A shudder wracks through me.

He goes still for a moment, then gently puts my hand at my side. His hands ghost up my arms. Not quite touching me, but the heat is enough to make me sway.

He says my name under his breath, and it sounds…aching.

I don’t know how to process that, and disbelief drives me to finally lift my face.

His expression is stark.

But his eyes…

Oh, his eyes are on fire.

I lick my lips. “Am I not allowed to touch you?”

He groans. “You’ve got it backwards.I’mnot allowed to touchyou.”

“But you want to, right? That’s why you said my name when you came?”

“Don’t ask me that.” He braces his arm above me on the cement wall and leans in, being very careful to not actually touch me. The warmth of his body surrounds me all the same. When he speaks again, his voice is lower than a whisper. I feel it more than hear it, an urgent vibration. “Tell me what your OnlySantas handle means.”

My head is spinning. “You said, um… You called me a… The first time we met.”

“Good girl?”

I whimper and nod my head desperately. “All the variations on that were taken, so I inserted garden in the middle.”

“I can’t believe it was you the whole time. I felt so fucking guilty for saying your name when there was this lovely stranger watching me, and she’d asked to hear my voice, but another woman’s name slipped out.” He drags in a breath that turns into a disbelieving laugh. “I didn’t need to say the rest of it, did I? You’d already heard the most damning part.”

“Noah…” His name slips out. I can’t think of him as Dr. Lowry anymore. Not now that I know how his body feels against mine when he’s holding back.

“I can’t, Paisley.”

I know he can’t. But I can. I lift my hands, holding his gaze as I slide my fingertips up his hard chest and over the straining cords of his neck. This is a risk, since he detangled me from the front of his shirt a hot second ago. But he doesn’t stop me from wrapping my arms around his neck and lifting my mouth to within a breath of his lips. “But I can,” I whisper. My voice shakes, and my knees feel like they might give out, but that doesn’t stop me from closing the gap between us and kissing my professor.

He groans into my mouth, low and perfect.

I have had enough terrible, no-good first kisses to know that this one is very-good and, most importantly,right.

And kissing therightperson, apparently, makes me a natural.

I sip at his mouth, shallow little pulls of his lips with mine, and then I lick the seam of his mouth because now I am brazen and needy. And I like the sounds he makes when I use my mouth like this.

With a grunt, he lets go of the wall and hauls me against him, one hand sliding low across my back, the other spreading dominantly between my shoulder blades, a hard press I can feel even through my puffy insulated vest and thick sweatshirt.

I’m wearing too many clothes for this kiss.

He searches my face, that burning gaze scorching my skin. “Fucking hell, Paisley. Do you know how much I’ve wanted this?”

“No,” I answer honestly.

---