Page 19 of Falcon

“So you’ve been with her for more than a year?”

“No. I met her then, but didn’t have a relationship with her until recently.”

“So, it’s still new?” I wasn’t sure I liked the look on Joilyn’s face now. It was calculating, where that had never been part of her personality. It set off some alarm bells I wasn’t sure I liked and wasn’t going to dwell on now. I wasn’t up for that kind of emotional rollercoaster.

“It is, but it’s also cemented. I really am sorry, Joilyn. I would never have hurt you on purpose.”

“We were going to be married, Jacob. Be together forever.”

“Youdied. You fuckin’died!” That came out harsher than I wanted it to, but I felt guilty enough without this. “I know I let you down, OK? It seems to be my superpower. I’ll help you in any way I can. I’ll make sure you have a safe place among people you can trust. I’ll have Lemon get someone at Grim to assess your skills and vouch for you with ExFil, if that’s what you want. Maybe Scout can help with that since he knows you. I’ll do everything I can to help you. But I love Gina.”

“Didn’t you love me once too? Doesn’t our past count for something?” She stood and crossed to me, putting her hand on my chest.

I caught her wrists and gently put her at arm’s length. “Don’t, Joilyn. I’m not yours to touch.”

“You should be, though,” she said softly. “You said when you left we’d get married when you came home. I thought I’d have time to finish my service before you were out, then we’d have more in common.”

I narrowed my eyes. This wasn’t… this wasn’t the Joilyn I knew. Sure, we’d both changed, but I was getting whiplash with her emotional swings. “You knew going in it was a one-way trip. Why are you upset now?”

She shrugged. “Maybe because the man I love found another woman?” Now she looked angry. “Look. I get you needed to have a fling. I did too. But we can be back together now. Besides, I had you first. I should get to say if you stay with me or not.”

“What’s wrong with you, Joi? Not only are you not making any sense, you’ve set down some very unreasonable expectations.”

Taking a step toward me she reached out once more. Slowly this time until she lay one hand on my chest over my heart. “I just want us to be a team, Jacob.” She looked at the door once and took another half step forward, lowering her voice like she was afraid someone would overhear us. “Listen. If you come back with me, we can work together. We’d be unstoppable. Just think of all the good we could do. Together.”

“Is that what this is about?” I straightened from the desk, forcing her to take a step backward before she realized she was giving ground. “To get me back in the CIA?”

“Why not? They said you were good. And, like I said, we could work together. Me, you, maybe even Rattler. It’d be like old times.” It hadn’t missed my notice that her tears had dried. I wasn’t delving too deep here because I honestly didn’t want to know. Instead, I make a mental note to tell Lemon not to let her anywhere near the Grim Road compound and have a talk with Rattler about my suspicions. I had no doubt now what had happened, and it involved the CIA getting someone inside Grim Road to get an idea of how many of us and exactly who was there. After all, most of us had been affiliated with the CIA in some form, especially once we started running black ops.

“No. It won’t.” I moved around her to the door, intending to leave.

“I still love you, Falcon.” She stated the words with such conviction, I couldn’t tell if it was an act or not. “I always will. I’m willing to die for you.”

I shut the door with a hard thud before advancing on Joilyn. “Is that a threat?” I bared my teeth at her and she recoiled. But, again, I saw something in her eyes that said she wasn’t at all intimidated by me.

“What? That I’d kill myself? You can rest assured I’d never take my own life, Falcon.”

“No. I don’t think you would. But that wasn’t the threat. The threat was in what you didn’t say. You’re willing to die for me. But I’m also betting you’re willing to kill.”

She shrugged. “Dying’s much harder than killing.”

“Oh, dying can most certainly be harder than killing. Especially if you hurt someone who belongs to me. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what your assignment is. But don’t expect to get into Grim Road. You’ll have to figure something else out.”

That drew what seemed to be a genuinely shocked expression from her. “What?”

“I’ll go tell your…handleryou’re not getting into Grim Road and to make some other arrangements for you.”

“You said you’d help me.”

“And I will. But living at Grim Road is not on the table.” Once again, I turned to go. I needed to think about what I was going to do next. Which meant staying longer than I’d planned at Salvation’s Bane. I needed to get in touch with Lemon. Tell her what was going on. But most of all, I needed her to bring Gina with her. I absolutely could not spend another night away from her. “Joilyn? If you can get out of the CIA, you need to do it now. Scout said he didn’t tell them, but I’m betting you told them. They told you to use Scout to get inside Grim Road. If you want out, Scout can help you. But you’re not getting into Grim Road, whether you leave them or not. You might want to consider making the appropriate apology to Scout so you at least have the option of exiting the agency for real this time. Before they have you doing things you can’t come back from.”

Chapter Nine

Gina

Falcon texted me to let me know he was good and on a plane heading home. I wanted to call him but figured he’d reach out to me if he could. Since I had no idea what was involved with calling home when he was on an assignment, I didn’t know the protocol. I couldn’t help but constantly look out the window, hoping to see him coming home. True to her word, Lemon didn’t leave my side for the entire three days since Falcon had left.

It had now been several hours since I’d gotten that text and no word. I was starting to get worried. What if something had happened to him?

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