Page 69 of Dire Straights

Part of me wondered if he somehow knew that I was bi. Or at least suspected, based on O’Conner’s claims. The way he let them use slurs and shit talk any guy who they suspected of being gay made it clear where he stood on that particular subject.

“So what are you going to do?”

“I really don’t know yet,” I said honestly. “I know I should stay on and try to make it work, but the way the other guys are treating me… I’m not used to this kind of thing.”

Ren nodded sympathetically. I’d finally told him about what had happened on my way home before the birthday party, when O’Conner had attacked me.

“Maybe you should just talk to your coach and tell him how you feel,” he suggested. “I mean if he doesn’t have any idea what’s going on between them and you, then of course he doesn’t understand why you’re hesitant about hanging out with the team.”

“I don’t know…” I answered, grimacing. I’d never beenthat guyon the team, who voiced complaints and brought up issues. Ren wouldn’t understand, but that kind of thing wasn’t really tolerated usually.

“It’s okay to ask for help and stuff, you know?” He insisted. “You don’t have to suffer burdens by yourself all the time.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to him, but… I need some time,” I admitted.

“What are you going to do about practices?” He asked, and I just shook my head.

“I don’t know yet. I need time to think.”

“Okay,” he said, reaching out to rub a hand over my arm. “You know that whatever you decide to do, I’ll totally support you.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks.”

I didn’t know how I would have coped with anything if I hadn’t met Ren. But it didn’t seem like he was going anywhere, so I was pretty sure I didn’t have to find out. Leaning my head onto his shoulder, I took in a slow breath, cupping my hand onto his jaw when he tilted his face down to kiss me.

I had some serious thinking to do about how I wanted the rest of my experience at BBU to be.

REN

THE FIRST WEEKback at school after winter break felt long and short all at the same time. I had more work than usual, which I didn’t mindtoomuch. The classes I’d picked for this spring semester when I’d met with my adviser were a little more intense, workload wise, but more in line with what I actually found interesting, so it was a fair trade-off. But Maddy still hadn’t made a decision about the swim team, and I could tell it was weighing on him heavily.

By Saturday afternoon, his grace period of thinking was over. The winter swim meet was tonight. He hadn’t gone to practice all week, but he’d texted his coach and scheduled a meeting today, explaining he needed to talk. Glancing at my phone, I realized he was probably in that meeting right now.

Across the room at his desk, Aspen yawned, stretching his arms over his head. He was only wearing pajama pants, so most of his tattoos were on clear display. I hadn’t gotten one yet, but I thought I might like one.

“So what’s the plan tonight?” He asked.

I shut my laptop, pushing it away. My calculus homework was starting to all blur together anyway, so I needed a break. But my parents had gushed about my GPA over winter break, so I felt obligated to keep it up.

They’d also been asking more and more about Maddy, and when they’d get to meet him. I still wasn’t exactly sure what to tell them. Would he be willing to meet my parents? He’d beenfine with me meeting his family, but that had been as friends. My parents knew we weren’t exactly just friends.

“Cyprian and I are heading over to the convention center in a few hours for Maddy’s swim meet.”

“Just going over to support him?” He wondered.

“Yeah, pretty much.” If he even ended up staying on the team, that was, but I didn’t mention that part yet. It was Maddy’s decision, and I didn’t want to spread his issues around. “He’s kind of going through some stuff right now, so he could use the support.” That was enough of a compromise in terms of revealing stuff.

“Is it free?”

“Free?” I repeated, confused. “You mean do you have to buy tickets or something?”

“Yeah.”

“No, you can just walk in. It’s free,” I said. “Well, there’s like food vendors and merch for the team and stuff. Nothing big.” I only knew that stuff from the videos I’d watched from his last meet.

He nodded slowly, pursing his lips. “Well, I might head over tonight too, then. I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “That doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.” Not that I cared or anything, but I was pretty sure his thick eyeliner and piercings would probably stick out like a sore thumb among the suburban moms and sports fans.

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