“Uhh…” He pulled his phone out to Google it. “It says they’re opportunistic predators, but I don’t see frogs listed in their typical diet.”
“Phew.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “I think seagulls might, though.”
Maddox clutched the frog to his chest with a look of mock horror. “We’ll have to keep him away from Eugene.”
“He’s definitely well-fed enough, as it is,” I agreed.
It was such a stupid and silly conversation, but for the first time I felt like we were actually kind of relaxed with each other. Was this what it could be like all the time with him? Could I really just be myself and laugh at dumb stuff without worrying about how I sounded or if I was being annoying? My heart gave a hard thump, partly from the anxiety-inducing realization that I was actually imagining us together. Like as a couple. I was definitely setting myself up for disappointment and heartache.
“Did you feel that?” Maddox asked, giving a slight frown. Had he actually felt my heart pound somehow?
“Um… What did it feel like?”
Blinking, he looked up at the sky, and winced a bit as a fat raindrop hit his face. “Fuck. It’s about to rain.”
“Oh!” I realized, relieved. But only for a second. “Oh! Crap!” We weren’t far from the school, but it was a ten minute walk or so. “Let’s go!”
We booked it out of there, rushing past all the people who were headed to their cars, our sneakers smacking the sidewalk as we ran. About halfway there, the sky opened up and poured buckets down onto us.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Maddox complained, though I could barely hear him over the sudden downpour. I whipped my messy, soaked bangs out of my face so I could see where I was going.
“Let’s just head up to my dorm room,” I shouted out over the rain. “You can dry off and wait it out there.”
“Yeah, okay,” he agreed.
When we finally burst through the doors of the building, we were absolutely sopping. Water dripped down off our clothes and onto the tiled floors as we took the elevator up.
Still huffing and out of breath by the time we reached my room, I pushed the door open and headed straight for my little stack of towels crammed into one of the cubby holes that were half mine. Aspen must have still been at work, since the room was empty. Work, or in some other guy’s room. Although he’d once told me he didn’t like to travel much for hookups, since he couldn’t bring any equipment with him. I was pretty sure I knew what he meant by that, but I didn’t want to think about it too much.
Tossing a towel to Maddox, I started scrubbing it through my dripping hair. “Wow, that really started coming down fast.”
“Yeah. Fucking sucks.”
When I glanced up at him, his face was covered as he scrubbed at his hair too. But his shirt had ridden up to the middle of his torso, leaving his defined abs exposed. I stared dumbly, feeling kind of like I was hypnotized. Had I ever noticed a guy’s abs before? Maybe I’d noticed them, but I’d never been turned on by that. But now, suddenly my room felt incredibly small and crowded, and the sound of both of us catching our breath was way too loud.
He pulled the towel down, and I couldn’t look up from his body quick enough. He definitely knew that I’d been staring athim. I felt heat rush to the surface of my skin, but I didn’t know what to say.
“What you said at the restaurant…” Maddox started, looking at me kind of cautiously. “About not being gay. Is that true? Are you really straight?”
My stomach dropped. I had no clue how to answer. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I didn’t want him to feel weird around me either. But if I lied now and it ended up coming out later, it would probably be worse.
“I’m not gay,” I answered definitively. “I’ve had crushes on girls a lot, and like I said I had a girlfriend for a couple years. But… I don’t think I’m straight, either. At least, I’m kind of doubting that lately. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not.”
“Is that what you meant about how you can like more than one thing?” He asked. He hadn’t changed expression at my answer, and his tone was neutral. I didn’t know how he was feeling.
“Yeah,” I answered honestly. Clenching my fist at my side, I took a deep breath. “Does that, um… Does that bother you?”
He looked away from me, off to the side, but shook his head. “Nah. I’m sorry about what I said, about you… Liking me, or whatever. It was stupid and immature.”
“You already apologized,” I reminded him. “And we said we wouldn’t bring it up again.”
“Yeah, but it’s worse because…” He hesitated. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“You can say it.”
“I can’t.”
“It’s okay, Maddox,” I said. My heart was pounding in my chest like an earthquake when his eyes finally slid back over to meet mine. “I’m not going to judge you or get upset or anything. I’m not that kind of person.”